A good father
I have just watched a video of a little girl (She should be between 1-2years old). She was hyper excited and almost going crazy when her Dad got back. The sweet Dad opened the door, hugged her, and they started catching up.
Her mum was interrupting their Daddy-daughter time, and the sweet little girl locked the door behind her mum.
It was so cute.
This video reminds me of my childhood.
Actually, each time I see a little girl having a nice time with her Daddy, I feel nostalgic, at the same time privileged.
As little girls, my elder sisters and I were all very close to our Dad….. we still are.
My mum noticed that her first three children were closer to their Dad than we were to her, and she used to be jealous for sometime. But as we grew older, she got used to it, after she noticed that there was nothing much she could do about it. She learnt to live with it.
It was nothing she did wrong. She is also an excellent mum. My Dad was just too excellent, and we somehow grew a little more fund of him.
We were daddy’s little girls. Three of us. And my Dad treated us like eggs too.
My brother was later born, and he became mummy’s boy. He was like a “consolation” for mum. At least 3:1 sounds better like 3:0.
One of my greatest fears is having children with a man who sucks at parenthood.
I would rather be as lucky as my mum and have a man who is an excellent husband and an excellent Dad.
I would rather make do with a bad husband than have my children live with a bad father.
I want the father of my children to be my children’s best friend. I want my husband to have a wonderful relationship with our children.
I feel privileged growing up with a good Dad. I DESPERATELY want my children to have this privilege too.
Life is tough enough as it is. I wouldn’t want to further complicate things for my children by choosing an irresponsible father for them.
I have never said this, but one thing I look out for in a man, even more than how good a husband he will most likely be is how good a father he will be.
It is more important for me for my children to have an excellent father than it is for me to have a good husband.
Obviously, I will want a man who is both a good husband and a good Dad to our children. I’m just saying being a good father to our children means more to me, on my scale of preference.
And yes, a man can be an excellent Dad and a shitty husband. Many men actually fall into this category.
And some men can be good husbands but shitty Dads.
Some men are shitty both as husbands and as Dads. They just aren’t good in either.
While some men are excellent at both.
These are the realities.
I hope and pray to get a man who is excellent at both being a husband and a father.
But if he must be shitty at anything, he shouldn’t be a shitty Dad.
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