I’m really scared to write this piece because everybody knows Olamide is my imaginary baby daddy/niggi 4 lyfe, so anything I write may be considered bad belle, but I just heard the song African Waist by Tiwa Savage and the thought that dogged me all through was “Soooo…wey the waist na?!”
I played the video and the song several times over hoping it would be one of those slow burners, but I was still left with the fact that none of it appealed to my senses – neither my ears, eyes nor waist. I love watching African waists in action, mostly because I am built like a robot and can’t move mine. It’s actually something of an obsession of mine, so I thought I would get my fill in this video. As in….check out the title of the song na!
Alas, not so. I just had no understanding of the whole thing. The video instantly reminded me of a Nicki Minaj ‘Pound The Alarm’ situation: I saw carnival shenanigans that spoke neither of Africa nor waistlines.
The dance moves: I saw a few choreographed nifty moves, I even saw some Beyonce choreography (you’ll know Beyonce na? That queen of African moves? 😐 ), but nothing particularly African. From makossa to belly dancing to mapouka, we have dances that are created for the glory of the African waist – a feature that is not exclusive to women, by the way. Just ask Iyanya or Flavour or most kids out on any African street. Sadly, I didn’t see any of that. Shoulder movements, yes. Nifty dance styles, yes. Waist and ukwu-licious tinz? Mba.
EDIT: One of our readers sent us this compilation of AFRICAN WAISTS! They’re everything!
Don Jazzy has a part in the middle where he was helping some girls with their yoga. It was lolzy for sure, but by this point I don on spectacle, searching for this waist.
The base didn’t thump enough to make me forget the video, the lyrics weren’t deep enough to make me want to learn them, the concept wasn’t authentic enough to make me marvel. All of which was made worse by a random MTN product placement. No, I didn’t understand that either.
All of this upsets me because I actually really like Ms Savage. I think she has a great voice when it’s not being auto-tuned to death and a face that has that excellent mix – girl next door vs too divalicious to actually live next door.
I look forward to a song called African Waist that will show me waist like my girl crushes – Toolz and Joselyn Dumas. Amin Jesu!
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