Gin used to be responsible for the worst drunks. Going too hard on a bottle of gin would have a man coming home to find his normally serene wife at the top of the stairs, dishevelled, unkempt and shouting at him “I gave you the best years of my life!” Not for nothing is this drink known from prehistoric times as “Mother’s Ruin”
Now, a newly created make of anti-ageing gin will work at confusing people as to exactly when that “best time” was as it helps to slow down the ageing process.
Ladies and gentlemen, proud members of the Shayo Movement, may we present Anti-aGin (geddit?) – a liquor created with unique ingredients to help you fight the signs of ageing while still keeping you suitably inebriated.
Yes, we all feel young and carefree when we’re off our trolleys, but this is serious science here.
Lauded by its creators as “the alcoholic equivalent of a facial”, Anti-aGin is the first ever gin created with skin-boosting ingredients.
Distilled with pure collagen, the 40% spirit hopes to restore some of the skin’s natural collagen which we lose with age and leads to saggy skin and wrinkles.
Hmmm…some might argue that perhaps your skin would hold up much better if you weren’t abusing it with alcohol so often (I would imagine that one mild gin and tonic every fortnight or so would not be enough to release the potent secrets of youth preserved within, but I may be wrong), but I guess the makers are marketing it to people who already have a penchant for a tipple or three. Might as well get your liquor to work for you, right?
Like, even if you were not a gin drinker before, this bottle might persuade you to give it a go. For the good of your health and all that. The wonder gin contains a mix of antioxidant and ‘skin-healing’ botanicals including green tea, witch hazel, tea tree, nettle and gotu kola – which makers claim can help reduce scarring, sun damage and wait for it…cellulite. Amazeballs. Inside gin o!
Listen, it’s probably all bullshit. Alcohol in large quantities is bad for you and for this gin to work, you’d probably have to consume it in copious amounts. Liver cirrhosis is no joke and looking glam in a coffin is not all it’s cracked up to be.
But hey, we all have to sell market, right? The genius spirit/marketing idea is the brainchild of Warner Leisure Hotels who joined forces with food alchemists Bompas & Parr to create the bespoke formula, and is available for £34.99.
If you do feel younger, please let us know. I’m not sure I’m going to start chugging gin, but maybe I can…I dunno rub it on my face as some sort of alcohol-based toner or something before bed.
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