Ask Victor Ibeh: he keeps pressurising me to marry him but I know he’s cheating!


Viva QuestionPlease sir, I am typing this with tears in my eyes. There’s this guy I met on Facebook in 2013, we were not all that close. It was more a skeletal chat of “Hello….Hi…” Then fast forward to September last year, he asked for my number. I gave it to him and we started chatting on WhatsApp. He calls me several times a day, he texts me; sometimes, he sends me airtime.

Then October last year was my grandfather’s burial. I didn’t invite him but he showed up. He came to my father’s house and that was my first time of seeing him face to face. After that day he now started disturbing me about marriage that he wants to get married to me. On January, I accepted to date him and it has been going well. Two weeks ago was my birthday and he proposed to me. He has been disturbing me that he wants to come and see my people and perform marital rites. He insists that he wants us to be married by December but I keep delaying. I always tell him to give me a little more time before coming to see my people.

I’m a corper serving in Akwa-Ibom. We are from the same village. He travels every two weeks to come and see me in Akwa Ibom. He is loving and caring. This man has taken me home to his family for introduction, and my family is aware of the relationship too.

But I just found out he is not faithful to me. I saw a chat where he invites girls to his house, one was even asking him that she needs him to have sex with her when she comes and he accepted ??!  He told the girl to look hot and sexy while coming.

Did I also mention to you that any time these girls ask him if he is in a relationship, he will tell them NO? That his last relationship ended last year. I am confused, please advise me on what to do. Should I confront him and call off the engagement? Or should I keep quiet? I got to know about this because somebody sent me screenshots of their chats together, where they promised to have sex when the girl comes to his house. Should I show him the screenshot and walk away from the relationship or what? Please help me, I need to hear from you.

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Viva Answer

A man can be very nice to women, but that won’t stop him from cheating. Cheating is a different issue altogether. So, it is not enough to give your heart to a man because he is nice and caring. You should also know how much value he places on you. If a man values you, he would find it difficult to cheat on you.

Having said that, you need to confront him. Don’t just leave. You need to satisfy your conscience that you had proof. Confronting him is to give him the opportunity to defend himself. From his answer you would know what next to do. This confrontation would reveal a lot about his character. You would know if he is an entitled cheat. You will also find out how he would react.

With all that, you would be able to decide whether to leave or not. It is not in my place to ask you to leave. That decision is for you to make.

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