Attraction does not a soulmate make – choosing the right partner


Just recently, I found out this lovely lady I really liked back then is married now. I was happy for her. She doesn’t know I used to like her and that is not her business at this point. Make she face bros.

All those stupid things in movies where some guy or girl decided to tell a person who is now married what they used to feel is pure foolishness in my opinion. It serves no purpose. You didn’t say it then when they were single so what’s the news going to do for them now?

Anyway, the reason I never told her was because I knew she wasn’t the one. I’ve said this a few times on Facebook that the closer you walk with God, the more you see certain things clearer. I looked at what I felt, I admitted it was just attraction and nothing more. I told myself it would pass and it did.

Don’t just jump up and start telling yourself you’re in love or it’s meant to be. One of the dangers of that is that you start to interpret everything they do as signs of love and they might not be. Then you get jealous when they’re with that other person. You start a relationship in your mind with someone who may think nothing of you beyond friendship.

This kind of thing does no one any good, so you need to dial it back, and get a firm handle on your emotions. You really need to. If you don’t, you’re setting yourself up for lots of heart ache and risking losing great friendships too. It is not worth it at all.

I’ve met many lovely ladies. The kind that any man would be blessed to wind up with, and yet I’m not asking for their area codes. I don’t go around with a pitcher looking for cisterns to get water from. I want just one woman and I’ll know when we connect.

I’ll stay and build with that one woman, all my days. That’s how it’s meant to go. The way some folks go about this stuff these days is very unsettling. Every woman is a potential wife and lover, so they jump from one to the other professing love and/or marriage. Slow down before you hurt yourself and someone else, bros.

Focus on taking the time to build good friendships. Get to know the person beyond your attraction. This way you’re in a better position to tell if she’s someone you want to be with for the rest of your life, as opposed to going by feelings alone, which can mislead.

There are many married people today who are together because they are too afraid or shamed to admit they made a horrible mistake, and even though God can still work through it and love so that love and contentment come at a point, it is a big risk. It may never happen, especially if they don’t want it, in the first place. Don’t do that to yourself.

The Bible says a Man without rule over his spirit is like a city with out walls (Proverbs 25:28). A city gate and walls were a defence and a safeguard for it. To be without walls meant anything and anyone could come and go as they pleased. It also meant they were open to attack and destruction.

Take charge of your heart and emotions. Learn to walk away and process what you feel for a woman, and decide what to do about it. Learn self control and practice it.

Why not leave love and marriage alone till it is time? Why not give attention to character and growing first, and then those two can take their place in time, or even come up with someone else?

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