It’s great when you have a whole lot of self awareness and self confidence and nobody – not a member of the opposite sex or the media – can persuade you that you are not beautiful.
Sometimes, however, the world gets to you. You’re having a stream of bad luck – either in the dating world or your professional sphere – your self-esteem is at a low point, and you can’t help but wonder: perhaps a little bit of weight loss/longer hair/ lighter skin wouldn’t go amiss?
There is no greater pressure on the Black Woman than the urge to change the colour of her skin. Let’s face it: our men like us thick, so you’ll have to go quite far before you felt you could not come out in polite society because of your weight.
But bleaching products such as Dencia’s White-lix-poison have continued to soar in popularity despite the constant outrage against them, all Brazilian women are probably bald buy now thanks to the Black Hair industry, and the last time I was in Lagos, I was the darkest woman in most rooms I walked into.
And what’s worse? It’s never enough. It’s a slippery slope and once you bow to the pressures, you are never white enough, never ‘pretty’ enough, never good enough. People will walk right through you because you’re transparent and completely melanin-free, and yet your self-esteem will tell you “Just one shade lighter, dear”
Luckily, a lot of us have the strength of character to refuse this. Meet Takara Allen, a mixed-race lady who recalls feeling “devastated” after receiving the following message from a man whom she had met through the popular (if somewhat grimy) dating app, Tinder:
“Don’t think I’m a creep and I don’t wanna be offensive or anything but I was just looking [at] your insta photos and just curious, but have you ever thought about bleaching your skin?? You’d look so much prettier if you were whiter!”
Allen showed some of the sassy Black in her by responding before blocking him on all mediums of contact: “Have you ever considered drinking bleach because the world would be so much prettier if you did,” adding a peace sign emoji.
Ladies and gentlemen, Takara is mixed race. Let that sink in. This is Takara:
A lady who is VERY light skinned as a result of genetics is still being told that bleaching might help her odds more.
The super gorgeous lady took to Facebook the following day to release her frustrations as she made the Tinder douche’s shocking comments public.
“What goes on in people’s heads that makes them think this is okay to say to someone?” she asks. “As if people of colour don’t already struggle enough with the pressure to conform to a Eurocentric beauty ideals and standards, people like this add even more.”
Allen added: “I’ve grown up hearing ‘You’d be prettier if you were lighter’ and ‘You’re pretty for a black girl,’ as if black women are just generally unattractive, and so it’s a surprise when one of us is,” she wrote.
“Not to mention the fact that as a mixed race woman people are constantly hitting me with the ‘but you’re so pretty, what are you mixed with?’ bullshit when I simply say ‘I’m black’. As if black can’t be beautiful on it’s [sic] own and that I should be grateful to be mixed with something because whatever I’m mixed with makes the black ‘okay’ all of a sudden.”
She concluded: “If you have to say “not trying to be offensive/racist/mean” before you say something, DON’T SAY IT”
Every man, woman and child should get their confidence and self esteem together. These streets ain’t playin’ and people out here will keep trying to bring you down. Don’t let these fools anywhere near your pride, your heritage, your strength.
Stay strong. Stay beautiful.
Get more stuff like this
in your inbox
Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.
Thank you for subscribing.
Something went wrong.