Born a Feminist


Permit me a bit of narcissism. At a point in my life, I had to choose between Christianity and feminism. In order to remain true to myself, I chose the latter. A decision I’ve never regretted. I was born a feminist. I didn’t have to go through the process of unlearning so many societal patriarchal shit, because I was one “rebellious” girl who refused to succumb to most of those practices, as far as they were within my discretion to choose.

Born a feminist

I started questioning and challenging patriarchy from a very young age.

-At the age of 8, I asked my Dad why an adulterous woman in a movie we were watching was being stoned to death, while the man with whom she committed the “crime” was given a free pass.
My Dad did his best to answer most of my questions. I was a hell of a child who questioned any adult that cared to listen, and my Dad “suffered” it most. He never tried to play mind games with me. When he told me that the adulterous woman was being punished alone without the male accomplice because it was culture; I told him that such culture was unfair. And then he said “that’s why you should take first in class, go to University and study hard. Come out as a very good lawyer, then you can challenge all these traditions”.

-I asked my grandma why she keeps talking about my “husband’s house”, why can’t it be mine, the “wife’s house” or “our house”.
-I was less than ten years old when I told my mum that I was never going to delete my surname for any reason. An information she has since gotten used to.
-I refused to be an assistant to a boy who was to be the main class prefect, because I thought it was unfair for him to be the number 1 while I’m number 2, not because he was better, but because he was a boy.

I started showing the trait from a young age. People who spent years with me are not surprised I grew into what I am today. From my secondary school classmates, to my siblings and to my parents.
My parents tried their best to change some of my thoughts, but they later gave up when they realized that this is just me. So, Dad wanted me to study Law, so my attitude of being confrontational and “aggressive in advocacy” could be channeled into professional use, which would probably earn me a living.

So much to write about my childhood feminism. While I did/questioned all these and felt this way towards my society, I never knew there was a name for people like me, I never knew there was a word called feminist.

It’s like a female human who grew up to realize that adult humans with vagina and female reproductive organs are called women. This person has always been a woman, she just didn’t know there was a word like “woman” that classifies/tags her and her likes.

So, when I see/read/hear people who never really knew me, or only knew me from a distance tell me that I allowed myself to be “westernized” into feminism and liberalism due to my migration to the Western world; I laugh at them.???

I was a feminist from conception. I didn’t learn feminism, I grew up to realize that my “condition” has a name in the dictionary, and such is feminism. And because I “suffer” the “feminism syndrome”, I would go with the feminist tag.

Most of the decisions about my approach towards life were made as a child. It was in my final year in primary school that I decided that I was never going to be apologetic for being me.

Life is too damn short to live it trying to fit into a cage of societal expectations. Life is not long enough for me to spare some time trying to please everyone. Because you know what; I’ve only got one shot to life, and I can’t afford to mess it up. I intend to live it to the full, being happy for me and the few who matter.

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