There is a certain type of giver that I absolutely detest!


There is a hierarchy to my hatred. I don’t just hate things and people anyhow. Next to murderers, rapists, paedophiles, kidnappers, armed  robbers, terrorists and people who can’t use the ATM but won’t ask for help and would just waste your time; another set of people I absolutely despise are a certain type of givers.

Giving is meant to be a good thing, as long as its not under duress and it’s from the depth of your heart. It’s a way to tap into one’s inner Mother Theresa.

Not giving is absolutely fine too. It’s your money/property, no guilt tripping from me at all. See, I am a stingy one myself, make I no lie, beht…ermmm…please give me sha.

In the world of giving there are three types of people:

  1. The ones who give generously with no expectations of any kind nor want you to return it. Na dash dem dash you be that so receive and be blessed.
  2. The ones that still give generously but them no follow you play when they tell you to pay back. They will want you to pay back in cash or kind. It’s up to you to say yes I go sell my Esau for your Jacob.
  3. The ones that give but the whole world will hear that they gave you one bottle of Limca when you were thirsty during the Civil War! ???

It’s obvious to know which category I absolutely despise.

People that you come to meet and say “Uncu/Anti epp my fourth generation yet to come.” No be by force o, na beg you come beg them so  your descendants wouldn’t suffer; or at least you wey dey for present no go suffer before you even start to dey worry of future tense!

Dem go say “Okay, I will help you.” That small chin chin they will give you, it will be breaking news on GAN(Givers Amebo Network) two hours later.

Everybody will hear how you came begging, what pant you wore sef to come and beg, how much they gave you and what they think you should do with the money. Some are even kind enough sef to hush up about it but choi the minute una take style quarrel…JESUS! You are finished!

Everybody will hear what you cooked wey house take burn. Everyone will hear that they give you 5k every month just because they were so kind o! They will even add their own version as to why you guys quarrelled.

It will be just because they told you one small thing, that’s how you just vexed for nothing! Or just because you caught them giving your husband small blow job oh, just small one oooo, not even as if it was full length blow job! That’s how you just vexed like a vexer. Upon everything they have ever done for you.

And then the haters come out to play! People that were not kuku nice before will now finish you with, “Ehen??? So you can borrow money? A whole you can receive assistance? Wow, I thought you were a bigs gehs o!”

Eez eet good? You might not even know they are even spreading the news up and down and still be seeing them as friends! How are you to know that you are befriending the spawn of Uncu Judaseus? I no blame people wey, even if they are going to die in the next one hour, they will never receive help of any kind. A wise person fears the wrath pf the Busy Body Amebo – chairman, GAN.

True givers, the ones that expect repayment and the ones that don’t expect it but still keep shut about it – una make sense die. The amebo fake people will not spoil you good work! Help when you can and if you cant its equally fine ko.

For the rest of una wey like to shame people wey come ask you for help, it’s better to not help at all than to do so and then carry your big mouth to do evangelism that they did not send you. One day una own dey come o! Make una kontinuu. Everybody, abeg flee from such people!

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