Is it their childbirth? Abeg, make your choices and don’t let your parents run your life


Nigerian parents sha. They will not come and go and kee somebody one day. About 8 months after the death of my son, I was having this chat with my mother and she said “Nna jisike luta nwanyi ozo ka imutara anyi nwa.

I was just sitting there staring mindlessly at her.

After a while I smiled and told her,

“Nne! I am not your only child biko. If you need a child go to any motherless baby home and get one, no child is superior to the other. A child is a child. Plus stop disturbing me with all this your come-and-give-us-a-child, kind of talk. I didn’t come to the world to give you a child I can decide that I don’t want kids, its not your business. Biko rapum aka.

“If I choose to have a child it is for my own sake. Your parents don’t own me, I am your child; the same way my own kids are mine not yours. Stop stressing me with it.”

She hasn’t brought up that topic again. She already knows what my response would be.

This is what I mean about having a mind of your own. It’s funny when some parents go to their son’s house to dictate gender. You hear things like “Emeka na only girls your wife dey born?!”

Mama, what is your concern? Why can’t people learn to mind their business??

Well me, I kukuma like myself. Inasmuch as I love my mother, she knows her boundaries.

If you live your life, you need to allow your children live theirs. Don’t use your children’s lives to complete the unfulfilled parts of your own life.

© Victor Ibeh 2016

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