(A call for Daddy G.O.)
– Hello, good morning, sir.
G.O: Goomorin. Ta lo n’soro?
G.O: Tade! Hawayu, gad blesh you! How’s the preparation going? Se eto n’lo?
– I just want to inform you that I’m calling off the wedding.
G.O: Eiyah. Awon organisers yen ko lo fo yin je beyen? These organisers are always messing people up! So when is the new date you are moving it to?
– It’s not a postponement, sir. It’s a permanent call off. I’m not marrying her again. She’s not the right type.
– She’s a shameless morafoka!
G.O: Wos! Ogbeni! Ede wo niyen….what sorruf a language is that?? Have you forgotten who you are talking to? Is that the answer to the question I asked you? I asked wattapun, not her qualities.
– She publicly humiliated me and showed the whole world that she’s got no morals. She’s a hoe!
G .O: Look if you are not ready to talk then geroff the line. O s’aaro o!
– Okay. We both went out to a show…and then at some point, the artist walked towards us and pulled her up the stage to dance with him.
G.O: So why didn’t you climb the stage with her, so the two of you can dance together?
– I did, but the bouncers rough handled me and threw me off the stage. I started screaming to let them know she’s my partner. They didn’t care!
G.O: So wattapun? She didn’t come down when she saw all that happened?
– No, she didn’t! And the most humiliating part is that she kept on grinding with the artist! 😠😠😠
G.O: What’s grinding?
– It’s a sort of dance where the male dancer will be rubbing his genitals against the bum of the female dancer or vice-versa. They both continued this while the whole world was screaming. I became a laughing stock.
G.O: Hmmm…iranu…abasha. Well, it’s good you are calling off the wedding because I can see that both of you are not ready.
– I am ready! She’s the one messing about!
G.O: Yes, it seemed like you are the one that’s ready but honezli, you’re not ready. Beeni mo wi; iwo gan o ready.
– How? How am I not ready? I have shown 100% commitment since this relationship took off!
G.O: Ha ha, aye ta e l’ofa ni? Is it me you are stronging voice for? Is it me that instructed them to be grinding your woman like pepper? Weeyoukeepkwayet and lizen! I said you are not ready do you think i don’t know what i’m talking about?
– I’m sorry sir.
G.O: Sorry for your destiny. Listen, you might think you are ready in some aspects but you are not ready in one of the KEY areas of marriage, which is TOLERANCE. Of course, I’m not saying you should condone nonsense, but kii se gbogbo nkan to ba ri lo ma react si. Oju e de si ma ri a lot!
Several men will still hug your wife in your presence. She’ll still have male work colleagues that’ll fancy her. She’ll still take lifts home from good Samaritan men. Her phone will still contain all sorts! She’ll still need to travel alone for work or other commitments. She’ll still attend parties where the singer will sing her praises and random men will come to spray her money and dance with her. Look, young man, a lot will still happen so how do you want to handle it? O need amojukuro (the ability to observe and unlook). Remember, you married her, you don’t own her. She’s not a robot, she’s human, o de si ma hu’wa bi enia. As a man, you need tolerance. If you are reacting to everything, she won’t live, emi iwo gan o de le gun. You need to TRUST her to do the right thing.
G.O: …and for her, she got it wrong by not realising what’s expected of her at this stage in knowing how to carry herself with dignity and pride. She simply covered herself in shame by throwing caution to the winds in offering her bum bum to be grinded by a stranger in your presence. Can you now see why I think both of you ain’t ready?
So, mo support cancellation yen. You guys should be ready ki e ma lo na ara yin pa ninu marriage. Can you imagine the daily fights? However, you’ll compensate me for all the time I wasted in counselling both of you till now. I’ll ask my PA to send you the invoice.
G.O: Shall we pray….
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