One day I dressed up hot for church. One of the reasons I must confess was because I was still annoyed with an ex and wanted to off my awesome, sexy threads. I had forgotten my ideals about moving on and not trying to prove anything to anyone.
The breakup was bad and painful and I wanted to score cheap points even if it violated conscience and my way of life, so to speak.
But the Lord had other plans.
I did it oh! Don’t think I didn’t succeed. She saw me, drooled, wanted to hug me beht I did the African version of a neck shake, talk to the hand and shook her hand instead. I was feeling like a supan starring egbon.
Finally, I was on my way back to get a bus when I noticed I was getting “aerated” somewhere around me. No, it was not my bum or below my trousers. You people are just mean and demonic. You’re all hell bound!
My shoe had suddenly decided to praise the Lord on the road. No be small worship oh! The tin open for front waaaaaa like say e see vision of Jesus! Chai! Ashamed and hembarazz cash me. I con dey try waka weet style e no work.
Na im I just vex run go wia keke dey, con henta one make dem carry me go house straight. I no care say de guy wan overcharge me money. Make I stand for road with ministering shoe dey haggle price? Chukwu ama kwe!
I henta pull de shoe. As we reash compound, I commot am plus socks use bare foot henta my dommot. No need to form sexy for dhat one abeg.
Since that day I have never dressed sexy to church again. Make the Lord no vex con do me de one wey worse pass am. I also swore to return to my principle of never trying to get back at any ex or prove anything to them.
Bhet na wa oh! Pessin no fit pose con dey do sexy for shursh again? Hian!???
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