Give Etinosa Idemudia 100MB of data; she’ll tell you how to turn rape into an enjoyable one-night stand


I blame Linda Ikeji for all of it, personally. Her Banana Island abode has all these illiterate idiots thinking perhaps they could also be somebody. And since it’s getting harder and harder to rise above the parapet, it’s either to go on national television and suck the penises of married men or to make off-colour, distasteful, putrid jokes about rape. I guess Ms Idemudia simply chose the latter.

Here is Etinosa Idemudia’s attempt at humour when she picked the one topic that is sacrosanct and perennially unfunny: rape.


Well, I guess based on that logic, anyone who feels the inclination to to her may do so with no hard feelings. Trooper that she is, she will just imagine that she gave the money to charity. And look, I’m not saying you should pour acid on her when you see her next or anything, just that should you choose to do so, this one here will simply take it as a makeover.

“Change that raping to rapport. ” This triflin’ heifer here.

Look. The only thing worse than rape is rape-splaining. And the only thing worse than rape-splaining is when it is being done by a woman. When women make insidious comments like

“I’m not saying rape is right but…”

“She too, why was she wearing that?”

“So why is she now talking as if she hasn’t had sex before?”

“Abeg, this girl…I’ve seen her in clubs before. Even smoking. She’s a bad girl jare.”

“She needs to just lay back and enjoy it and not struggle. It’s when she struggles that they get violent and hurt her”

Comments like these set us back light years and make it harder for women to come forward with their trauma. Because the second a woman makes such a comment, the rapey men who take things that were not offered them come out of the woodwork. You hear:

“Ehen, shey you people hear what your fellow woman is saying?”

“She was really enjoying it but didn’t want to look like a slut”

“If she didn’t want it, why was she at my house?”

There is no excuse, justification or explanation for rape. It is a barren, unyielding land if you require a source of jokes in your bid to blow. If this is how you want to be noticed in the hope that a sugar daddy will buy you a G-Wagon or four, jog on, love. There are real people with real problems and you are NOT helping.

Your desperation and your thirst is showing, sweet thang. Tuck your hot pocket back in and have some sense.

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  1. As much as I think the pendulum has swung to the extreme in the Women’s lib movement, to hear another woman make fun of rape victim of re-victimized in a joke got my blood boiling. There are certain subjects that I consider as no hospital area when it comes to jokes

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