Mama Yemi can come do omugwo: the gum advert that nearly got me pregnant

My body is treacherous. We will have a conversation before we leave the house. I will be explicit, clear and firm. My body will nod along and confirm that it has heard everything I said.

Then we will reach outside and my eyes will be looking at fine, fine boys upandan. I should be concentrating on the word of God in my mind, but instead I will be checking out six-packs and toned arms. Ooooh, and city boys in suits and expensive shoes.

Traitor.

Look at this, for example. I was on my own o, as I tend to be before trouble comes looking for me. That’s how I saw 38 seconds of loveliness on that Facebook. Check out this gum advert:

https://viva-naija.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Fresh-Mint-Gum-Beautiful-Man-Video.mp4?_=1

Look at this chocolatey goodness right here! Chile, my ovaries started clapping as if concert was going on. I’m normally not even here for men with ear-rings but this one…

Y’all can come for the naming ceremony. Mama Yemi will be doing the omugwo. We’re in love, we’re married and we’re having our kids now.

Thanks for all your well wishes.