Being sensitive to the feelings of other people is proof of your emotional intelligence.
I have encountered people who throw words about with scant regard for how it would affect their hearers. Even the Holy Book said, “Let your words be seasoned with salt, that it might minister grace to your hearers.”
Words are powerful, they can destroy, damage, build, heal or create. There is a direct connection between the power of your mind and the power of your words.
From experience I have observed that people with very low emotional intelligence use words carelessly; yet they get hurt when you reciprocate. Those people who say things carelessly without a care as to how their words would hurt others are the people that cry more when you give them a tip of their own iceberg. This is nothing if not low emotional intelligence.
As an individual, I have come to a point where I don’t easily use words that would hurt others. I have been abused, both in the virtual and real world. I try as much I can to avoid reciprocity in that regard. Not because I don’t know what to say, but because I know the power of words. Just one word can damage a person for life.
Talking to people the right way is an art that should be learnt. You should always consider the feeling of a person before saying anything to them. Not just that, there is also a right time for every word.
Saying the right thing at the wrong time makes it all wrong.
Saying the right thing the wrong way also makes it wrong.
Using Emotional Intelligence in your relationship
In your relationship, don’t just say things because you feel like saying them! Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings.
As a woman, don’t assume that your man has no feelings. Men often have self esteem issues. One wrong word from you can damage him. Inasmuch as I am strictly against cheating, a man would cheat with any woman that makes him feel good about himself. Even if she is lying to him, it makes no difference. That male ego trip gets them every time.
I didn’t mention women here because it is already known that women respond to words. It has also been established here in my school that when you talk down on your woman, you lose her to other men.
Much have been said about women in that respect but not men. As a result, most women live under the assumption that men have ‘toxic-words shock absorber’, which isn’t true.
For example, if your man doesn’t last to your satisfaction in bed, you need to speak the right thing to him. How long a man lasts is a function of his mind.
It would be wrong to say, “I am tired of sex with you, why can’t you last like other men?” Or he tries to touch you and you say, “Oga, please don’t touch me, its not as though you will last this time around!”
Any man you tell this will never last. Your words are going to be counter productive.
You should try saying, “Baby, making love with you is so exciting, you have gradually increased my appetite. At this point I can only ask you for more. Please give me more!”
By doing that you will gradually train him to become what you want him to be sexually. It is not rocket science. It is common sense. Before you use any word think of how you would feel if same was spoken to you.
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