How to answer the “When are you having kids?” question

Sarcastic reply

Sarcastic reply

“So, when are you guys having kids? We are still waiting, haha.”

“We thought you’d never ask! Everyone shoots that question like a greeting these days, haha. We’re very sorry for keeping you waiting. So…we’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and we’ve decided to start trying. With so many people asking, it’s obvious that we ought to have had them by now and I’m beginning to feel like we’re running out of time. At the same time, I’m nervous about it; I’m worried that it might still be too soon and perhaps we aren’t yet ready to take that step, but there’s really no harm in trying, is there? Anyway, if all goes smoothly, we could have our first child next week! Right, Sweetheart? In fact, we would love to have your first born as our first attempt, if you don’t mind at all. He’s such an adorable little guy, I know he’ll be so delicious! I can’t wait to have those chubby toes and Sweetheart here would love the soup. If, indeed, we fall in love with the dish, I think we’ll be having kids on the daily, with chips or ugali. We’ve been having ordinary meals and we’re excited to be giving ourselves the chance to finally have a child like you’ve all been asking and waiting. So when can we come for your son? Does Thursday look good?”

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