Jerry Hall gets engaged to Rupert Murdoch and the internet loses its mind! But why though?


Jerry Hall, the blonde Amazon who I remember mostly for looking really tall in various…stuff, and Rupert Murdoch, who I remember mostly because his (ex) wife blow person hot blow one time on TV, have announced their engagement in The Times. This is undoubtedly the most classy newspaper to announce your birth, marriage or death, and is also coincidentally owned by Mr Murdoch.

Now, firstly, I didn’t even know that Rupert had divorced the Fighting Ninja, Wendi Deng, but other than that, I remember my most pressing thought when I first heard the news was “Oh. Okay. Anyway, so…if I have this hot cross bun now at half past midnight, does it count as part of yesterday’s calories or part of today’s?”

It would seem, however, that I am alone in my non-Jerry Hall musings. The internet doesn’t seem to know what to do with itself, so aghast at this sip of tea.

Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch: people, why internet evuls?

©David Fisher|REX|Shuttershock

So far, I have heard rantings and ravings about her being a gold-digger, people saying “What first attracted you to the ageing billionaire, madam?” The claims are that he won’t have long to live and Jerry Hall just wants to get her hands on his vast fortune.

I have heard a lot of talk about the huge age difference. Jerry Hall is 59 while her fiance is 84.

I have also heard people calling her an industry…um…favourite (basically saying she sleeps with all these entertainment industry types), while calling him a serial husband who can’t stay with one woman. If and when they get married, this will be Rupert’s fourth marriage.

Other thing I’ve heard – why bother getting married at all? At this age and after this many attempts, why not just enjoy each other’s companies? No alimony, no pay-off, no mess; just companionable partnership till the end of your days.

Viva thoughts on the engagement:

Well, now. I’ll be the first to state that I do not care a single bit for Rupert Murdoch, and I do not know enough about Jerry Hall to have an opinion about her, but seriously, why do people care??

I mean, while the age gap of 24 years is not inconsiderable, the lady is not some doe-eyed teenager. She’s nearly 60! Who else e for follow? This is hardly cradle-snatching, she’s mature enough and a good match for his age bearing in mind that Mr Murdoch might have a few good years left in him yet – his mother passed at the age of 103!

And while it’s true that Jerry Hall has only ever been associated with men from the music industry, she has racked up a grand total of THREE names – Bryan Ferry for a quick second, then Mick Jagger who she stayed with for 22 years (1977-1999), had four children with, and with whom she separated only after she couldn’t cope with HIS infidelities. And then there was silence for fifteen years before she met Rupert last year. I know some Yoruba men who have three full-fledged relationships within one day, but I understand that this post isn’t about that, so, moving on…

And yes, Murdoch has been married three times, and given the lengths of his marriages, he is not a man one might consider a playboy: eleven years with his first wife, Patricia Booker, a whopping thirty two his second wife, Anna Murdoch Mann, and fourteen years with his latest divorcee – Wendi Deng.

He did not get to his position by being silly either: while having ensured that all of his children are well catered for with two of them working within the Sky Corporation, but with ex-wives having minimal to zero voting rights in any of his holdings. He pays them off and moves on. I’m quite certain that his sperm consists of tiny little prenuptial agreements.

And Jerry the gold-digger? Well, she’s no Murdoch, but on her own, she’s worth $15 million, and having four of Mick Jaggers children suggests she will never have to go hungry, so while a million or two more is always welcome, she certainly wasn’t a grasping, grabbing, desperate little wench.

And as for why getting married at all, who’s to tell anyone how to live out the rest of their days?? Surely, a look at one’s mortality should even drive one to live the best life they can? This one doesn’t even make sense to me at all.

So, having looked at all the reasons, I’m left concluding that the reason behind all this noise is bad belle. Pure and simple. Bad belle from the women that they weren’t the ones picked, and bad belle from the men that they look better than Rupert does and still can’t manage to bag a woman – even pata pata a 60-year-old.

Stop hatin, y’all. It’s a new year. Accept Jesus as your personal Lord and saviour and learn to be happy for folk. Taaaaah!

Also, this calories matter…seriously, how should I count it??

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