Ladies, don’t dumb yourself down to get a man this year!

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Black happy couple - get a man

get a man - black-woman-thinking

So ladies, are you thinking to get a man in 2016? If you’re looking for a relationship, don’t dumb yourself down to get a man. Truth is the way you get a thing is more often than not how you keep/maintain it. That means staying dumb to keep it, because the moment you try to rise above that station, it is a problem. You will be told you have changed, you’re following bad friends, and that you’ve become proud. You will be tied down or punished for making moves to show your true colours you should never have hidden in the first place.

One of the beautiful things that should occur in a relationship is challenging each other to improve and excel, not be simple and mediocre. Having said this, let me balance it out for people who might get it wrong. Someone might be thinking, “what about people like vulcanizers and carpenters?”.

Let me tell you right now – those men, even if not millionaires, have learnt skills and are applying themselves. They aren’t any less than a banker or a doctor. One just happened to have been more fortunate in where he grew up and what he has, and truth be told some of those guys are even graduates but just weren’t able to secure jobs so they went in to learn skills to make money.

They are workers and are still good men. If any of these men meet a woman who encourages them to be more, that is fine. Being more is relative.
For example, it could be expanding the business, learning a new skill, going to get a degree or applying for another job while keeping this personal one on the side, to make more money. It can be learning a new language, how to drive, etc. See my point? It is not limited to one area and level.

Becoming less or hiding your gifts and endowments just to get a man is not wisdom. I spend so much time telling women that the call to dominate the earth was not given to men alone. Both of them have to. This means none is lesser than the other.

Black happy couple - get a man

Unfortunately insecure men and misguided women see that and accuse me of making women rebellious and compete with men. Why compete when you are not the same? How does that make sense? Only a child would want to be a man when she’s female and vice versa. Mature and confident people are not interested in being someone else.

I used to have a friend who has a very large bust. She told me she was always ashamed of it, during a talk we once had about personal insecurities. She would slouch to make herself look odd just to hide them away. It is funny now but I told her, there are men who are looking for “big blessings” to hold on to, so what was she hiding hers for? I wasn’t saying she should go topless but you get my idea, right? Why hide what you have as if it were a curse to be that way?

Society makes us believe the woman should be seen and not heard, and that when a man comes along he has to make her something special. Society is on drugs. Yes, a man in your life will make you blossom and bloom but there has to be something for him to work with, just as there has to be something he has that you work with too!

It is like the iron – sharpening – iron principle in the Bible. When you get a man, you should meet and work on each other, bringing out the best in yourselves. Don’t ever compromise on this thing to get a man. Never do it. You’re going to end up bitter and full of regret.

Fellas, when you meet a lady who is smart, are you afraid to approach her because you know you’re not smart enough or don’t think you are? Have you ever actually given thought to improving yourself?

Like I said, it is not to compete but rather because you look at this person and think “If she can do this, what am I doing?” That should be your thought and not, “This one now will be proud. See her even wearing heels and red lipstick. IPhone 6 is even her phone. Which sugar daddy gave it to her? Abeg I no want. Let her not begin to assess me by her Alhaji friends”.

No doubt there are cheap and classless women “following men up and down”. To however assume any lady who has stuff and/or is brilliant is such a person or doesn’t deserve it since she has no man in her life makes no sense.

At my age I need a woman who can make intelligent conversation. I also need a woman who knows she cannot prefer UK to abroad, plays video games, cooks beans and wears sneakers and high heels, but that’s not the point of this post. She needs to be all she can be as at when I meet her and be willing to improve and challenge me as well to do the same.

It is 2016 bro. Work on yourself and take your eyes off women till you’re comfortable in your skin and have let go of your insecurities. Challenge yourself to be better and then when you’re ready walk up to her and say what you need to. If she says no, move on. No need for anger and abuse. Some other lady will say yes.

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