The most annoying person in the whole Evans the Kidnapper debacle is his wife. Talmbout she didn’t know her husband was a kidnapper. Can we try and execute her first please? If not for lying, then for outright stupidity, and if not that, then at the very least for enjoying the proceeds of crime (POCA)? But mostly for aiding, abetting and sexing an ugly criminal kingpin every night.
Women who will know everything a man is doing before he does it. Women who will give both the FBI AND the CIA a run for their money if they have vested interest in the matter. Women who know the day you baff with another soap. Women whose eyes will plain roll out their heads in a bid to read your phone.
Heck, Beyonce has her own money and she STILL got her goon (Solange) to dropkick her husband the day she felt something was off. And you are all types of wrong if you think Becky still has good hair; Beyonce has snatched ALL her edges by now, I’m sure.
And to all the people saying it is possible not to know; that Naija men don’t have to say where they’re going or coming from, all I can say is you’re lucky I ain’t the judge or you would all be up for trial too. Even when dating? You’ve never had the convo “What do you do for a living?”?! You’ve never taken him lunch to work or taken his briefcase he forgot at home? Who are his friends? Or you just go into the kitchen and bring out the nkwobi when Nwana the armourer shows up with another suitcase full of the latest Kalashnikovs and 5,000 new bullets? You might not necessarily be the problem, but all this oxygen you’re freely inhaling is doing me one kain.
If your only concern about your husband’s income is if it stretches to foreign trips and new jewellery, y’honour, STRING. HER. UP. Haba, cook that only cooked for the kidnapped victims (a charitable endeavour if you think about it), has been rounded up, then how much more you who probably knows where all the bank accounts in your children’s names are kept?
Don’t even tell us where the money is, and don’t you DARE become born again. Just step right this way and let us tie you briefly to the big stick. Look, we’ll be kind, we’ll use some of your husband’s bullets. Heard he got that hook up for good quality merch.
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