Excerpt from a message: “A husband is that man God made and then saw that it may be hard for him to really actualise his purpose for making him, without a help mate and then made the woman and gave to him, and he felt complete and fulfilled.”
Pleas run as far away as possible from anyone who tells you this, even if he is a pastor. This is ungodly and very misleading. Adam was not incomplete, suffering nor incapable of performing his duties or fulfilling purpose. He was already doing that.
It is one thing to say that a woman will help a man run his race (and he should be helping her as well with hers) and it is another to say that if not for her, his race can not be completed or run well. She is not God and cannot take His place.
All this sounds so spiritual and mushy mushy until you see what the word of God has to say about all this. The very idea is very scary that someone can now suddenly place this huge responsibility of making a man into what God wants on a woman.
The belief is made worse by honest men who come out to boldly say; “oh my wife is my helper, if not for her I would not be the man I am today,” and all such talk. People who do not take the time to think on these words, their meaning or know the story, then rush to conclude the woman was needed to have a life and succeed.
This is what made someone post in the group I admin that he needs a Sarah in order to become an Abraham and he needs a woman to make him into a faithful Joseph. I told him he needed no one but God and he desire to make something of his life. The woman is an addition not the main thing and anyone waiting for a woman to come along to make his life right is not serious. Nothing in the Bible encourages this kind of thinking or behaviour.
Sadly it also enables the unserious ones who do not want to work or grow in faith, achieve anything financially or any other way. The same way we have tons of idle women waiting for men to come and marry them so they can have value and direction is the same way we have tons of guys doing the same. Please, who then is to meet whom?
I get it.
I get where they are coming from.
I really do.
It still does not make it true.
Look through the Bible. Where was this ever said or implied? Where was man or woman classified as incomplete or useless, directionless or unable to move right, without a mate?
Nowhere is it said because it is not true. Marriage is a choice and should be made by two mature and responsible people who see purpose in their union and not as a crutch for each other. That is a wrong idea/teaching. Hopefully all this grammar is not in vain and I won’t have to argue with anyone on this post.
There are many half and complete falsehoods coming from the pulpit about love and relationships, and when it comes to marriage they seem to have the worst.
We understand that many people want to marry and we get that many people want them to marry. The why, when, where and how are the issues. Do not lie and put pressure on people just to get them to fulfill YOUR desires and expectations for marriage. That is selfish and obviously wrong.
You, dear single, kindly sit still and understand what it is to be in a relationship and be married, before rushing to the altar and then making a mess of your own life. That God ordained marriage does not mean you have no responsibility to use your head to think and plan sensibly about it or about even if it something you should do in the first place.
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