Matters of the heart (Part I)

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Black couple happy

Black couple happy

This post is birthed by a discussion I had with my sister last night.  A lot of thoughts flooded my mind and I felt to share.

Here it is: sometimes in our relationships,  when our partner isn’t really treating us as we feel we ought to be treated,  we need to think and ask ourselves one pertinent question: “How Am I Encouraging This??

When there’s nothing to respect, people just don’t respect anything.

As a lady, if you give a man the impression that you don’t give a damn about the relationship,  he’s surely going to play so. We are the emotional ones, even when we don’t want to give our hearts,  we somehow end up giving it – much to our own bemusement.

As a man, if you give a lady the impression that you’re not so into her,  thereby making her seek for your attention,  you’ll wake up some day to discover she’s in another man’s arms.

We should endeavour to treat our relationships as prized treasures.

Again, mind the words you say to your partner or in the presence of your partner. I used to make the mistake of telling my Ex that however he wants the relationship,  I’m down with it. Then when the insults came, I discovered I wasn’t down with it. No, I didn’t want to take on the emotional, psychological and verbal trauma that accompanied it, so I left.

Next point is this: while you’re being yourself, be sure to be good.  Most of us make the mistake of assuming that “Be Yourself” implies you can do all manner of rubbish.

I’ve come to discover with time that most men want you to be wild and rough when they are dating you,  but will go marry a “decent”  lady when they want to settle down.

They will take you to clubs, have you drink all you want to drink and tell you that you’re the realest girl since Mother Eve,  then go marry a “good girl”  leaving you wondering WTH?

Let’s say this post will address ladies more because we are more at the receiving end. We are the ones who take sex seriously, we take words seriously and we take the phone calls and chat messages seriously.

To the Brothers, don’t make your girlfriend do stuff you wouldn’t want to see in your wife.

You are to help build and nurture that lady in your life, such that when you part ways, you’ll be a blessing to her, a part of her that she’ll always remember fondly. It’s okay to fool around, but while at it always ask: If she were my sister, would I be happy to see another man treat her this way?

Long ago, I made up my mind to treat all men like I wanted my brothers to be treated. I’m not perfect but I sleep with both eyes closed knowing there are no hearts bleeding because of me. This is what we all should do., that’s what life and love should be about: Treat Others As You Want Them To Treat You. We need to drop the mentality of : Treat Others As They Treat You,  it’s one of the reasons we have so much evil,  bitterness and hatred around us.

The reason that girlfriend of two years rejected your marriage proposal might be connected to how you’ve been treating her,  she might just be holding on thinking you’d change but when you didn’t and rather pop the big question,  she’s running away. No one wants to be with someone that disrespects them and treats them like trash,  it doesn’t matter what they get from you,  they will walk away in search of bliss.

My dear friends, we must know that life is not an express road; life is not a dead end either. We part to meet again.

Be what you want to see in others, and we will have so much happy hearts around us.

Thanks for reading. Share your thoughts, comments and suggestions.

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