I think I am suffering from a psychological condition called Naijatiansis.
I love Nigeria so much, my dreams every night will not be complete if something about Nigeria does not feature. It is either I am eating akara, quarrelling with bus conductor, slapping Godswill Akpabio or imbibing palm wine at Sheraton Hotel with my Babalawo.
Imagine, I have been living in England since 1989 and I still speak English as if is just came off the Ekenedili Chukwu express bus at Jibowu, Yaba.
I will argue Nigerian politics as if I am a newspaper vendor under the bridge at Ikeja bus top. I will carry Nigeria problem on my coconut head as if it will pay the looming children’s school fees next week.
When there was fuel shortage recently, if not for those racists airlines, I was phoning around to see which airline will allow me to carry petrol as hand luggage.
I am not ashamed when I write my Nigerian English kpa kpá. At least my readers understand what I am writing ; unlike those ones that will write all the big big grammar and you end up quarrelling with them, not realising the silly bagger is actually saying the same thing as you.
Now there is this little matter of Buhari, his recent appointments and Federal Character. Every Nigerian news is inundated with Federal character and how it is part of the Nigerian life since nineteen gbògbòrò…and now the Nigerian bug has caught me again : I’m thinking, maybe I should introduce this Federal character to Mama Fela. She is Yoruba. So I am thinking maybe I should contact a reputable agency in Nigeria to help me source for one Ifeanyi and one Aisha.
Not to marry them o. Just for decoration as per when I start my political career in 2019. I don’t know how she will take my suggestion, but I heard it is in the Nigerian constitution. I will try and lay my hands on a copy for her. Viva Nigeria! ……..and Federal Character.
Mazi abe idris ©copyrights reserved 2015
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