Money-miss-Road: Jackpot winner dies after Gold-plating his Balls

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Justin Reiter gold plated balls

This na supersonic kolomentality oh…shuo! For obodo Naija, this is what we call a classic and unmissable case of “money-miss-road” gaskiya! What??? Gold-plating “Les Twins” for what na??..produce golden “swimmers”??

Justin Reiter gold plated balls

Many people like to flash their cash in different ways – for instance, gold and diamond mouth grills. But to celebrate his recent jackpot win, this Atlanta resident decided to take it to another level. Justin Reiter from Alberta, Canada, died of medical  complications after attempting to gold plate his own private parts to celebrate an astonishing $598,556 jackpot win.

Growing up in poverty as a child, Justin became obsessed the 2002 movie comedy Goldmember—an Austin Powers parody of the Bond movie Goldfinger in which Powers is hunting a criminal mastermind who colours his victims’ man parts in gold. Now working at Walmart, the closest this fed-up and overworked employee got to his dream was stocking chicken nuggets in the frozen aisle.

Reiter’s lucky golden streak began during a break from his night shift. While browsing Facebook on his phone, he saw an advertisement for a gaming site offering $80 worth of free spins. Never one to turn down anything free, Justin decided to test the odds with Bingo Hall’s “Mega Moolah” game. By the end of his thirty minute lunch break, the disaffected young man suddenly had a much brighter and shiny outlook on life.

Friends reported he “immediately quit his job and headed straight to the local jewellers, blinging himself up with rings and chains. But even after getting his teeth capped in gold, he never felt complete.”

Justin started by painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, but quickly decided that a simple colouring wasn’t enough: he needed to take it to the next level, he needed the real gold. To complete the makeshift operation, Reiter used a professional automotive gold plater that he borrowed from a garage. Unfortunately in the twelve hours following the procedure, Justin encountered a series of health issues that ultimately led to his death.

Evidently, this numbskull isn’t the first guy to lose it all after winning big online. When questioned, marketing manager of Bingo Hall Ian Joseffson told local reporters that irresponsible and ill-considered gestures are a worrying trend among their winners who can’t handle their sudden change in fortune.

He continued saying:
“While one of the bigger winners of the “Mega Moolah” giveaway, Justin certainly isn’t the only one to cash out on Bingo Hall’s free spins. Since the promotion began last month, over 238 players all over United States have won money from 100% free play.”

However, it appears the giveaway will be soon ending as the company has already paid out over $1,000,000 in total winnings this last month.

Local reporter Jane Linn also tried her hand at the jackpot but sadly only walked away with a $485 – you can’t always win as big as Justin sadly!

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