As much as we should be thankful for the things that we have, methinks it’s not fair to tell someone that they should stop grieving about a situation in their life because there are people out there who are having it worse.
“You’re crying because you lost a job? Do you know there are people who lost loved ones to death; their children, their spouses, siblings, and they are not even crying half as much as you are?”
“How can you feel depressed about this? People have worse problems! This is nothing.”
“Are you seriously breaking down because the auctioneers took away everything in your house? People out there are sleeping in the streets, out in the cold! At least you still have a roof over your head!”
“You are mourning about that excruciating pain in your swollen leg, that it makes it hard for you to walk for more than 3 minutes, that the doctors think it’s something serious and they need to do more tests, yet you don’t even have the money for those tests, and it is becoming difficult for you to work to make money…at least you still have legs. There are people who don’t have both legs and they hustle all day to make money, and you will never hear them complain about their situation.”
You should not make someone feel ashamed of being sad about a situation that hurts them. You should not make someone feel foolish for crying over a painful situation in their life, however small the situation seems to you. You should not make someone hate himself or herself for feeling heartbroken or distressed about something that has caused or is causing them mental and/or emotional suffering.
I can never really, truly know the extent of someone’s pain, even when I tell them, “I know what you are going through. I know how it feels.” Yes, I will have a lot of ideas about what they are going through because I have been in a similar situation before, but I am not them, and they are not me. And they don’t have to deal with their hurt the way I dealt with mine.
Just because someone out there lost a baby, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a right to feel hurt because you lost someone’s trust. Or love.
We should not undermine anyone’s pain regardless of the smallness or bigness of their situation.
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