God, I love Twitter. Love it like kilode. I think it’s that 160 character thing they’ve got going on. You can literally get obliterated in just a few words. And this is what happened to Melania Trump yesterday. Dragged to the nth degree. Dragged to hell and back. Dragged for filth!
E sweet me ehn?! I thought I was going to just spontaneously develop diabetes. This olodo wife of an olodo man, complete with olodo campaign managers and speech writers. Too lazy to even go a bit further back. Too lazy to even search for more obscure speeches. Sat there and copied an entire speech off the FLOTUS with the MOSTUS and then have the nerve to say that Melania drew from her life experiences.
What might these experiences be, pray? What are the difficulties she faced as a model posing nude on the cover of magazines? Or being the third wife of one of the most odious billionaires in the world? Actually, I take that back: being married to Donald Trump would be hard for Lucifer, so I sympathise with her on that front.
The very first time I heard her name, Melania, I thought “I know this is supposed to be a Slavic slant on the name Melanie, but why can’t I shake the feeling that it sounds like melanin?”
Well, I guess now I have my answer. When you plagiarise Michelle Obama so hard that you even name yourself after her skin colour…must suck to be you right about now.
And suck, it does. Because Twitter, that chill-deficient zone where respect goes to die but shade, subs and full-on insults go on to live in glorious technicolor, came for Mrs Trump and came hard.
#FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes is just one example of the hilarity that has ensued after Dumb and Dumber were let loose on the American public. It’s fabulous, y’all. Just fabulous!
— RiotWomenn (@riotwomennn) July 19, 2016
— Aamon R. Miller (@aamon17) July 19, 2016
"I married Barack because he inspires me everyday."#FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes
— Victor Mochere (@VictorMochere) July 19, 2016
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes
— Queefimae Peluso (@JessimaePeluso) July 19, 2016
"As a black woman living in the south side of Chicago….oh wait, I wasn't supposed to say that part" #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes
— Douglas Hickman (@Doug_TheStylist) July 19, 2016
— Big7 NiMarketing CEO (@iamBig7) July 19, 2016
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