If I had indeed spent a denarii or dime for each time I was stopped at Police checkpoints between Ibadan and Akure today, Iâd have expended 17 dimes đĄ.
Yeah, you heard right, 17 Police checkpoints! Thatâs excluding one FRSC stop just after Ikire and an Army Checkpoint after Owena-ijesha.
Even if anyone could argue that security canât really be in surplus especially on a Nigerian road, 17 of it, speckling almost every yard of tar across a distance covered in barely 2 and half hours, is irritating.
Irritating because actually, they ainât securing nada!
âBros, how far na, na weekend ohâ
âBros, just buy fuel for us and we let you goâ
These were the recurring sentences vomited through lips of most of these men donned in faded black at almost all the checkpoints. At 4 of these stops, they categorically asked that I give them 1,000 naira for fuel, others yapped âjust anything, any amountâ in request.
So, at 1,000 naira for example, Iâd have spent 17k for kwekwe Police because weekend, because fuel? Even Otedollar wonât do that, ambosibosi emi tâara nkan seriously!!
I didnât give shishi.
At 15th stop however, (still sounds rankling, 15!!!), the âbellefullâ Policeman who was in charge suddenly went ânollywoodâ on me when I insisted I had no money to give him and his men.
âOpen your booth! Where are the papers of this moto?â, he barked fast.
Booth clear, papers complete, yet, but expectedly thoâ, the rapscallion went like, âWhere is the state police clearance for this moto?â
âWhatâs that?â I asked.
âYou ha hasking me wosdat? Emi ni wosdat? Hâokay now, We sha ci!â, he retorted.
Holding on to my papers, he walked away, and in my mind, I was like, âabi life is doing this one?â
Thankfully, MTN was indeed everywhere you go, so I picked my phone and dialed the Nigeria Police Force Customer Care number. It was picked immediately and I reported the guttural policeman to the voice on the other side. In fact, I was impressed!
The recipient of my call unbeknownst to him, this belly-first policeman kept ranting, saying stuff like, âif you like, call Boohariâ.
âGive the phone to the officer in the chargeâ, the voice requested, after asking me if my papers were indeed complete.
I did, and a potpourri of hot yes-sirs made way through the mouth of our friend as the customer care Rep apparently reprimanded him.
âTake your papers and goâ, he uttered afterwards from his now careening poise.
I still met two more Police checkpoints before I berthed in Akure.
Security on a high road shouldnât be this easily mistaken and/or misrepresented as a menace. Anyone who knows Oga IG of Police should tag him, he needs to do something to stop this yeye oshisco thing.
Nota Bene:
Yes, the Nigerian Police force do have a customer care line. I also got to know about it through a friend, and so far, Iâve used them twice without regretting it. I salute them on this. Here are the numbers > â0805 700 0002âŹ, â0805 700 0001âŹ, â0805 700 0003âŹ.