I’ve always said this. There is nothing worse than a broke, unemployed man. Broke, unemployed women are no picnic either, I’m sure, but nobody is out here waiting for them to pay the bills or take care of the homestead so they’re still better. Broke, unemployed men who think the world owes them a favour? Satan-spawn. The Woman on BEN TV brought me into close proximity with these special creatures yesterday.
I was on my own o. The way I usually am. I got a call from a firm Viva Naija friend, Priscilla Nwikpo. She is the host of BEN TV (Sky 182) show, The Woman. She graciously invited me to come be on the panel for yesterday’s show and I excitedly accepted! Turns out the show’s topic was on Daddy G.O Adeboye’s criteria for a successful marriage.
Usually, I try not to speak on shush matters. First of all, I am not particularly spirishua. Secondly, I know that Jesus and Mohammed matters get a lot of Nigerians into a tizzy so I try not to offend religious sensibilities gratuitously. Nonetheless, I felt that as long as I didn’t abuse anybody’s popsy, I would be able to successfully navigate these waters.
Uselessness In The Name of Tradition
Before going on air, the ladies had thought that perhaps the “Wife that cannot cook or pray for one hour, is that one wife?” would be the most inflammatory part, but as usual, Naija men had other goodies in store for us!
Of course, we discussed cooking and I maintained my stand that if a man cannot cook, then of course, searching for a partner who can cook was more of a priority. But if he can cook, then perhaps his priorities might be different.
Oooooh! The phones started ringing!!! One uncle mentioned Bible, Qur’an and tradition to justify his desire for a cook as a wife. I’m sure Sonpona, Sango, Jesus and Allah had not all sat together like that in a long time! Common food o. Na wa.
These feckless fools took the matter personally o! One gentleman caller told me that men these days want a woman who will stick with them through thick and thin and show them unconditional love. I said “You might wanna talk to yo’ mama about that one!”. Turns out microphones pick stuff like that up. Who knew??
Nigerian Men Have Turned Nigerian Women to Dole Office!
After food preparations and the various gods involved, we started talking about Daddy G.O’s insistence that women not marry jobless men. I VERY INNOCENTLY said that I don’t understand why unemployed men would even be toasting. Like…if she agrees to go to dinner with you, how you wan do am? If, after dinner, una marry, pack enter house, how you wan do am? What of childbirth? Pampers don cost o!
Also, and on a more serious note, unemployment and reliance on a woman does damaging things for a man’s ego. Certainly, it has affected me in the past, so I can only imagine how a man might feel. Surely this isn’t rocket science? Ain’t no romance without finance?
I. Was. Wrong. Chei, the calls started flying in thick and fast. Grown men frothing at the mouth as they tried to make “The lady in red” (my fine ass) understand that their lack of a job did not stop them from being eligible or being treated as the demi-gods they were. One even told me that I was fronting because I was still young. That by the time I was 40 or 50, I would be begging these same men to come marry me.
Wait fess, lemme understand this: ladies, are you ouchea (out here) endorsing this nonsense?? Are there grown men sitting on your couches, using your credit to call into WOMEN’S TALK SHOWS???? Justifying their joblessness?? Are you responsible for this? Have you got an overgrown baby at your house? Stop breastfeeding the fool! Because it is bad behaviour o!
The Woman on BEN TV (Sky Channel 182)
The show airs every Thursday at 8pm. If you are online, you can stream live at www.bentelevision.com at the same time.
Contrary to the gender of the majority of the callers, the show is called The Woman. Oh, and Priscilla Nwikpo is the consummate professional who keeps the group of women in check. This is akin to teaching ants how to do Irish Dancing. Difficult, but worth it for the entertainment value.
Usually, she is usually flanked by two gaaawjus chicas, Ekanem Robertson and Bola Latinwo. The trifecta take issues affecting women and discuss it to the fullest. It’s always lush. You should watch. Seriously. I’m not always on there so the men are not usually in a flap.
I will be there next week though. We will be judging whether women should wear bras. I expect Jesus and Amadioha to make another appearance.
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