Touchline Theatrics, Tacit Tactics, Mouthful Mind-games, 2016/17 Premier League will be too “sweet”


The first ball of the 2016/2017 English Premier League season will be kicked tomorrow, Saturday, 13th of August, 2016, and if you ask me who are the set of happiest people on earth right now, I’d tell you they are the gentlemen of the English Press and Meme Warriors!
Why? Well, their jobs would be made easier in the next 9 months or so, as they’d be supplied with enough dose of dramatic material begging to be reported with no fuss.

EPL 2016/17

The English Premier League is arguably the most exciting (and excitable) sporting franchise in the world, and this year, judging by the influx and reshuffling of talents and egos this term, the bar of excitement has been undoubtedly raised.

The mere thought of Jose Mourhino in Manchester Red, the mere glance on the other side of Manchester to see Pep Guardiola in Blue, arch foes par-by-par, is enough excitement to make the league lit.


I got to know Antonio Conte, the new Chelsea FC Manager, more closely during the just concluded Euro 2016 competition while he led Italy to the quaterfinal. This guy is everything passion, theatrics, and he expressed this rare hunger for winning. Oh gosh! He did..! Now, he’s in charge of a Chelsea team who faltered last season and are rearing to roar again. What a mix!

Just imagine this insane celebration of Conte. ...passionate dude!
Just imagine this insane goal celebration of Conte at the Euro 2016. …passionate dude!

And then, the Kop’s Kloop. …hmmnn… touchline theatrics emeritus, he’s no known lax loser, so, I’m sure he’s ready to charge into the new season with more rigor than ever. His charges whipped Barcelona 4 goals to nil in a preseason match, and while that result can be overlooked, the determination the Liverpool lads exuded gave an insight into how hungry they are for some fruitful fight.

You know there’s always a Wenger angle to most of the EPL excitement right? Whether as an enabler or the subject of it, Arsene is definitely set to bring more Wenger to the EPL this season. And, his Arsenal charges are facing the hungry Liverpool boys on the first day of the season. How’s that for a start. Whew! Whatever happens post match, I can’t just wait to see the press conference after. You too? LMAO!

And, hey fan, do you know Moyes is back? Yes, David Moyes, the Manchester United ex-Coach who was fired for mis-coaching? Yeah, he’s back in the EPL, he’d be calling shots from the Stadium of Light, Sunderland. Now, picture the theme that’d surround a fixture that reads Sunderland vs Manchester United. …vendetta? Hmmnn.

The defending Champions Leicester City have regrouped; they stunned us all last season, their regrouping and holding on to stars Vardy and Mahrez, show that they are not bucking to sophomore pressure. They want to stay relevant and will surely contribute immensely to the excitement this new season promises in assuredness.

If you look at Pochettino of Spurs, Bilic of West Ham and Koeman of Everton (who was until now at the Saints), you’d see silent managers who are quite loud with tactics. For what they lack in huge talents at their disposal to win titles, they replace with huge tactics that all in all add to the excitement. This new season, trust me, they’d go even more huge, especially Pochettino and Bilic. While the former has publicly encouraged his lilywhites to charge for the title to the end this term, the latter has held on firmly to his star performer, Dmitry Payet, to stake a claim on the EPL top four.

This season is gonna be a battle of coaches, no doubt! . Look at the stats below:

EPL 2016/17 coaches

Away from the coaches, the traditional premier League theme song has been changed to a seemingly funkier, hop-like one. Also, there’s a new latest latex football that has been made for the new season, plus a new logo (see up)….all, to add to the excitement quotient. …Sweet!

Then think about this.

There will be Ibrahimovic, there will be Pogba, both in Manchester Red, there will be Kante in Chelsea blue, and there will be Stones and a handful German imports (Sahin, Sane) in Manchester Blue…huge additions to already formidable teams.


What will Mourhino do with his arsenal of talent and egos?

How will Guardiola handle the Premier League?

Leicester, will they tumble and step aside or will they confirm their “big boys” status?

Wenger, will he be “Wenger” all over again?

Liverpool, will they shed the tag “perennial premier underachievers”?….

Will the Referees make less mistakes this term, or more and add to the drama? …etcetera, etcetera.

Ha! We are in for it! The most exciting Premier League season till date….we are in for it!


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