In these trying times, going into Nollywood might be the only sure banker o!

(Uncle Lagos and his niece)

Uncle: Pele jare n tie Moyodi.

Moyo: Ah ha uncle. My name is Moyo, not Moyodi.

Uncle: Wareva. Anyway, kini re n se bayi? Where do you work now?

Moyo: I’m still searching for job, uncle.

Uncle: Still searching? Pelu aduru owo ti baba yin na le yin lori…you too can’t find job? O ma se o. How many interviews have you attended? (With the amount your father spent on your education? What a pity)

Moyo: Several, uncle. Several.

Uncle: So why don’t you join Nollywood? Owo buruku wa mbe. There is mad money in that Nollywood!

Moyo: Nollywood? As what?

Uncle: As woodcutter ni. ODE! No wonder you can’t get a job. Who will employ somebody like you? O dense. Join Nollywood as an actress! There’s serious more and other privileges there.

Moyo: Erm.o. but uncle I don’t know how to act!

Uncle: wee yu keep kwayet! Aye mi o! O le act?! With this your stature? O le act? They’ll teach you when you get there. All those ones you see that are riding Range Rover, won ko won naa ni. They will teach you.

Moyo: Uncle, I studied International Relations and I’ll prefer to work in my field.

Uncle: Oniyeye. Field ko, stadium ni. O fe di Amabassador abi? Shio. Anyway come and put this sim card inside this phone for me o. At least waa le activate e fun mi?

Moyo: Ah ha Uncle….