There are two kinds of people who help – those who will help you in one way or another, and then forget about it; and those who will help you in one way or another, and then make it their goal to remind you (and/or others) about it every chance they get.
The former will most probably cheer you on as you use their help to grow, but should you be helped with the latter, you are in for a ride. They will want to claim your success for themselves, and they will refresh your memory as many times as possible, to ensure that you are eternally indebted to them, to ensure that you will forever give them burnt sacrifices and offerings of thanksgiving.
You finally graduated? They will hug you and congratulate you while informing all and sundry about how they paid part of the fees in the very first semester a few years ago, and that if they hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have been here now, you wouldn’t have achieved what you have achieved now.
You got a big promotion at work? They will clink glasses in merriment and celebration as they take you (all) down memory lane, reminding you (all) that they are the ones who got you that job in the first place; how they forwarded your CV to your employer and put in a good word for you, and that if they hadn’t done that, you would still be struggling and hustling for peanuts.
Your business has thrived and flourished, and has become bigger than ever before? They will marvel at your good profits while taking you back to that time when you were just starting out, when they helped you with a small amount of money so that you could get some stock, and that if they hadn’t done that, you would still be wallowing in poverty (never mind that you repaid the money).
Dare you feel proud about your success, they will quickly put you in your place, fondly beginning their statement thus: “If it weren’t for me…” completely ignoring that, perhaps, your own hard work, determination, and dedication played an even bigger role in your achievement(s). Should you feel compelled to respectfully point out the same – for who doesn’t want to be recognized for their own success? – they will be shocked by your ‘ungratefulness’, wondering if that is what they get for giving you their kindness and generosity.
“You ingrate! I did so much for you, and this is how you repay me?”
And since it’s them, and only them, who are wholly behind your every success, they will threaten to withdraw themselves from your life and see how (much) far(ther) you will get without them, because, apparently, you’re nothing without them.
What kind of helper are you?
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