Victor Ibeh's Desk: he wants anal s3x to preserve her virginity ?

Hi, happy Sunday! I’m like a huge fan or your write ups. The things you write are always an eye opener for me, may God almighty bless you abundantly. You are a blessing

I want to talk to you about something: so my best friend is dating this guy. When they started dating last year, we were both in SS3 (her and myself, the guy was in his first year at Babcock university). So they started all cool and the relationship was clean. We are both in remedial at different universities. Now, we both came back home for holidays and while we were catching up, she admitted that while they’d initially said they wouldn’t kiss or romance in the relationship, they had now done it and it felt good. She says that it stopped there. Now he is back for holidays too and he says he wants anal sex. He claims that with anal sex she will still be a virgin and have her hymen intact. I was like gosh…

Now, when we were around 14/15 (we’re both 17 now), I was always the type that believed in kissing in relationships because I watched a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon shows. They made me believe your love isn’t yet perfect till you have kissed. Now my friend “was” the opposite. She would often say her first kiss will be on the altar with her husband. Now my friend has been kissed, has had steamy romance and now the same guy is asking for anal sex. I have advised her, prayed for her, but…he is very cunning, intelligent and has a way with words. I’m very afraid, I don’t want things to go far. I care for her, she’s my best friend.

 

I understand that you are trying to show friendly care. You really are worried about your friend, which is good. However, your concern wouldn’t do much except your friend is willing to evaluate the life she is already living.

I feel like she is someone who wants to have her cake; and eat it.
She is playing with fire, but her allegiance to hypocrisy isn’t letting her see beyond her nose.

Her hypocrisy is evident in the fact that she would rather go for anal sex instead of having a normal vagina sex, just to maintain a status. If she wants to have sex, she should go ahead and do it, or maintain full abstinence.

Abstinence is very good but it should be done in all honesty. What your friend is doing now is not abstinence. She is just trying keep up a status. In the end nobody would really care about that status, especially if she gets hurt through this anal s3x.

Tell her to go to google and search out the side effects of anal s3x. When she is done, she would be able to decide if her life deserves the sort of destruction about to befall it. She is still very tender, a lot of things won’t make much sense to her. As a caring friend, give her the information she needs but let her make her final decision.

Remember this isn’t about the guy. That’s why my counsel didn’t focus on him. Giving him anal s3x is not proof of love. If things go awry tomorrow, he would leave her for another lady. They almost always do.

This teenage love is not enough to make her destroy her life just to please man. If she wants sex, let her use legitimate protection and have sex, but going the hypocritical anal way would eventually hurt her.