Victor Ibeh’s Desk: I’m terrified of being a one minute man!

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Premature ejaculation- frustrated couple - one minute man

Viva QuestionGood morning boss! I saw a very funny post about being a one minute man. Lemme tell you a part of my story that is funny and at the same time strange. I’ve not had sex before. One of the reasons is that I fear to be a one minute man. My friends always tell me that the day I’ll try it, I won’t last long. I detest being put to shame. It’s a constant source of fear for me. A friend, a girl who found out I’ve never had sex, decided to let me have some one day. She invited me over, when she came touching me, do you know my heart was beating so fast that I told her I couldn’t? I was so scared that I can’t do this. That’s what my mind kept telling me: that I’ll disgrace myself.

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Viva AnswerSex is basically a thing of the mind. Especially since your issue isn’t about the size of your manhood.

One of the things that can cause quick ejaculation, is over excitement. When you are too excited about what you are about to experience.

Another thing is too much anxiety. When you are too anxious about not failing your woman, you end up having  quick or premature ejaculation. I want you to know that having quick ejaculation isn’t the problem. There is something called a quickie. That is, sex that lasts for a very short time. In such a situation, a premature ejaculation, wouldn’t be much of a problem. However, premature ejaculation presents a problem when it is recurrent. If you are always having premature ejaculation without ever having any delayed ejaculation, then that is a serious problem.

In your case, you are only having the fear of the unknown. You are yet to experience sex. In order to demystify your fear, I want you to know that it is perfectly okay to experience premature ejaculation in your first sex. It is called baby-steps. Even men who can stay long during sex, experienced premature ejaculation during the days of their baby-steps.

On your first experience, remember that you are not trying to impress anybody. You aim is to have fun. Avoid any form of pressure. Don’t just rush into penetration. Take your time and caress your woman very well. Use your hands and fingers on her whole body. Go down on her. Eat her vagina. I don’t mean chew it. I mean lick and suck her vagina lips and also her clitoris. Spend much time there. Don’t be in a haste.

The rule of sex is enthusiasm. Whatever you do to her body, do it with excitement. Let her see your face and know that you are enjoying what you are doing. Eventually, when you penetrate her. Don’t be too fast. Go slowly at first. Let her guide you. If she tells you to add speed, you can then go faster. When the urge to evaluate starts coming into your head, allow it. Don’t restrict it. It is your first. Let it flow naturally. The proof of good sex is not always in how long you stay before ejaculation. It is in how much you can handle your woman’s body in its totality. Penetration is not all there is to good sex. Learning to delay your ejaculation, is something you will gradually train yourself about. With time, you will become better.

Do you agree with Victor? Comments below please!
Next week on the Victor Ibeh Desk - Transparent

Good morning Sir,

Please I have a very serious issue I want you to counsel me on. I just recently discovered that my wife has a dildo and she has been using it for the past 6 months. Outside the fact that I feel inadequate right now, I feel she is becoming sexually irresponsible. I don’t think I can cope with this. Yesterday, we almost had a fight because she insulted me, claiming that she got the dildo because I am not man enough.

My wife is about to destroy our marriage! I feel like I should just ask her out of my house but I decided to ask for your opinion first. I work in Bayelsa but my family stays in Lagos. We have two little girls of 2 and 4 years, respectively. I come home twice a month, spend two days and go back. I don’t know if that is why she did this. Please attend to me urgently, before I do something I would regret.

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