Nigerians can be the worst sometimes; the absolute worst. Even our well wishes are laced with venom and spite. And you know what’s worse, we’re so used to these hidden insults and acerbic, back-handed compliments that we don’t even know when we’re doing it. Typical greetings and compliments from “well-meaning” Nigerians:
“Wow, congratulations dear! I never thought you guys would make it to marriage o. Cos since I’ve known Chukwujindu, all of his girlfriends have been yellow.”
“Omo, married life fits you o! Babes see as you don fat! Don’t add any more o, before your husband starts looking for lekpa outside!”
“Hmmmm…a first class in history, But don’t you think a degree in something useful would have been better?”
“Guy, this your babe is fine o. Hope other guys won’t steal her from you. You and this your civil servant work so.”
You see how we are? We find it so difficult to give a completely sincere compliment without trace of a kickback. Which is why this post about a beautiful bride did not surprise me, but it certainly hurt as the bride is a very dear friend and someone with more virtues than just being “Plus sized”.
Here’s what Naij.com had to say about a new bride on what is possibly on of the happiest days of her life:
As with most insults, it’s the insidious inferences that are annoying.
Title: Plus size Nigerian bride….
Article Body (of a post that ONLY has 39 words with 3 of them being the couple’s names): “accepts you just the way…”
Translation: “Na wa o, so this fat girl sef see husband marry?”
You claim you’re writing about the wedding but you’re passing judgement on her weight. Weight that her husband can see and has collected his load with glee o. They should hang their heads in shame.
What Naij.com failed to mention was that the bride is eternally cheerful, with a ready smile and a beautiful personality. She is eager to help all and sundry and her wife material? 100 yards of pristine, high quality wife material.
They didn’t mention the glow on the groom’s face, the resplendent Urhobo dressing or the weighty and rich coral beads that adorned the bride’s wrist, neck and ears. Neither did they mention our new husband’s gangster walking stick – Urhobo wado!
I would love to celebrate a friend and a sister, a woman many of us would be proud if we had her personality, fortitude, resilience and strength of character – a couple of traits Ms Helen Ajomole would do well to brush up on.
Congratulations, Ejiroghene Omoruku. “Kube” (sorry, I just had to!) may you have a lifetime of happiness and love!
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