I was watching this Nollywood film, I actually came into a friend’s place to meet the movie and settled down to it as it was this part that interests me:
The Marriage Proposal
This young man had his lady visiting and his friends were around too with their ladies; more like a weekend getaway fun for them. In between the laughter and bliss of the moment, Mr. Handsome went on his knees, retrieved a case from his pocket and opening it there’s a ring as he asks his lady those four words: “Will you marry me?” The surprise and excitement from his friends was abruptly ended when his lady said “NO!” She further excused herself and led him into the room.
She said what most ladies wouldn’t want to say: “Honey, I can’t marry you despite the fact that we’ve been dating for three years. I’ve been only trying to put up with your attitude hoping you’ll change.” She went on to tell him all the things he does that she can’t cope with if they eventually get married and how he’s always shoved her aside whenever she brings them up.
He’s a man, he sees nothing wrong in being proud and taking unilateral decisions; he does things and take decisions without involving her; he keeps late nights and talks to her in demeaning manner. He wasn’t doing these things to hurt her but she was hurt all the same.
After she rejected the proposal, she asked that they remained friends if he’s okay with it as she walked away.
Weeks passed into months, and Mr. Handsome started working on himself. He understood later that his attitude was going to cost him a good woman and put in work to be a better him. A better man he became, and went back for his princess.
You can’t keep a bad attitude and expect a good woman to put up with you. Same goes for women – man wants a woman with a bad attitude.
Often we allow our bitter past to make us mad and bad; we carry baggage of our past about and keep saying : I won’t change for anyone, they should love me as I am.
Truth is that not everyone has that energy to put up with a whole lot of things. We live in a world where people want the easy way out. No one will see a good person and go all out for someone with attitude issues. Yes, agreed that a few would, but will you rather lose out on someone good for someone you don’t see yourself coping with their awful antics for long?
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating, if they notice their future happiness is not assured they will take the easy but hard way out and walk away.
During courtship, be sincere to yourself and your partner and say what you feel and how you want to be treated. Don’t pretend your way into a marriage because you’re afraid of starting all over.
When your partner gives you good reasons why they can’t take it further with you, take a step back, drop your pride and consider their fears, there is some sincerity you will find.
It’s only maturity for you to review your attitude objectively in a bid for positive change. No one knows it all, no one does it all good and no one gets it right always.
Just as you know yourself, your partner also knows you. Their opinion counts too, because they will be spending their lives with you if you ever get past courtship into marriage.
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