Mazi Abe’s Corner – Viva Naija

Mazi Abe and his Adventures at the new Buhari Bus Stop, Lagos

mazi abe — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 14:09:14 +0000

Timeline: 07:25 am, I was stuck somewhere in Ikeja because Mr President is in town to perform the most important task of his presidency since 2015: to commission an opening of the largest Kèkè NAPEP garage in the whole of Lagos. All the major roads from Murtala Muhammad Airport and the immediate Ikeja environs have […]

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Mazi Abe in Lagos: see traffic warden chasing our mazi on the main road o!

mazi abe — Wed, 14 Mar 2018 22:34:40 +0000

This morning at Bode Thomas Junction, the yèyé traffic warden was using one hand to control traffic whilst using the other hand to hold his phone to his ear, chatting away with his bony-assed side chick. I didn’t see her yansh o, just guessing. You can imagine the result: 🎵🎵 Confusion Break Bone 🎵 traffic at the Babs Animashaun/Bode […]

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Poor men! From Debt December to Just-Long January and now Valentine Fever February!

mazi abe — Fri, 02 Feb 2018 00:47:04 +0000

It is February 1st! Another 14 days of agony for we Men! After surviving “Spending December” and “Brokage January”. From today, the wives, girlfriends, side-chicks, front-chicks, wannabes and soon-to-bes will change! They will start being nice and sweet to us, best behaviour and tings. ❤️💕🌹 You will now be seeing posts like, “Things A Loving Man Should […]

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I don cuss everybody finish ooo! I no fit go Naija again!

mazi abe — Wed, 22 Nov 2017 21:26:11 +0000

I just realised that I have effectively ruled myself out of visiting some parts of Nigeria, when I land, not too long from now. Fayose’s Ekiti is a definite no go area for me. I don too yab the guy; he will tell them to use my lips to make peppered ponmó for him. Owerri […]

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Bring back history lessons in Nigerian schools: no future if we do not acknowledge the past!

mazi abe — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 15:29:24 +0000

Yesterday, the people of Israel celebrated 100 years of the Balfour Declaration. The Balfour Declaration was a public statement issued by the British government during World War I, announcing support for the establishment of a “national home for the Jewish people” in Palestine, then an Ottoman region with a minority Jewish population. It heralded the creation […]

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This is Nigeria: why make progress when you can make excuses?

mazi abe — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 14:08:47 +0000

UK’s Defence Minister, Sir Michael Fallon, voluntarily resigned from office, for putting his hand on a female journalist’s knee during an interview, 15 years ago. Yes o, 15 years ago! Hmmmmmmmmm I trust Nigeria my country. For it to even be an issue, Sahara Reporters would have had to publish a secret video recording of the minister […]

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mazi abe updates Buhari on Naija shenanigans as the president returns from UK MOT

mazi abe — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 15:31:19 +0000

Good morning, Bubu! I read you came back from your MOT service in the abroad yesterday. Alhamdulillahi! I am sure you came back with all your shock absorbers, pistons and balls well oiled. Sorry, I mean joint balls, sir. (I jus’ woke up 😴 abeg no vex) I am also sure Hadjia Aisha will be […]

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I’m glad British Airways stewardess got sacked but I’m a Virgin kinda guy

mazi abe — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 14:34:22 +0000

I can’t believe any well travelled Nigerian will try to make a case for the sacked British Airways stewardess accused of making a racist video. That is even scratching the surface. Orisirisi stories abound of how BA staff treats us like dirt, but I can’t be bothered. Me I no dey enter them plane go […]

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Please can we send Buhari to John McCain’s doctor so Nigerians can also get a diagnosis?

mazi abe — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 13:24:57 +0000

24 hours after falling ill, it is announced that Ranking Senator John McCain of the US Senate has been diagnosed with brain cancer. It is highly unlikely he will return to the Senate, so the process of replacing him has already begun. And then of course, friends, family and the whole country are praying for […]

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You see how these women are trying to steal our Father’s Day from us??

mazi abe — Mon, 19 Jun 2017 09:46:19 +0000

Hmmmmmmm…it’s Father’s Day, and these women still won’t let us have peace. Haba, women like to exaggerate sha! “I carried your child for nine months!!” Na all them be nine months. Hian! When you check well, many of them na eight months and two weeks o. E no even reach nine months laidat. But if the man replies, “I […]

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