This is Nigeria: why make progress when you can make excuses?


UK’s Defence Minister, Sir Michael Fallon, voluntarily resigned from office, for putting his hand on a female journalist’s knee during an interview, 15 years ago.

Yes o, 15 years ago!


I trust Nigeria my country. For it to even be an issue, Sahara Reporters would have had to publish a secret video recording of the minister with his head up the anus of the President’s favourite cow.

Then the Senate will now raise a committee to investigate if the cow carries a Biafran or Boko Haram tattoo.

The Presidency will invite Justice Onidi’nla to inaugurate a ten-man fact-finding panel, to determine whether the cow and the Minister had a prior coming together of head and bottom.

Mr Defence Minister will claim he has lost most of his memory, but was in fact carrying out his ministerial duties of checking the Cow’s defensive territorial anatomy.

Mr President will receive the report; while the Cow now decides to raise a memo, claiming N1 billion before he can travel with its machine gun-totting herdsmen from Katsina to Abuja, to testify.

Asiwaju wee now announce, that there is no cabal in the abattoirs of Abuja.

Eventually, the Cow will resign inside the stomachs of pepper soup revellers by Aso Rock Mammy market. In 2019.

Their way no be awa way at all. Uniquely Nigerian. 

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