Sometimes, you’ll just be minding your business, going about your daily life when all of a sudden you’ll start feeling all rapey. You know what I mean…it will just be doing you like you should go and rape someone. Or like you should just drop a tablet into someone’s drink and have your way with them.
If this has happened to you before or if you suddenly have these unbidden urges, you need not fear. We have compiled a list to help you and if you can abide with the items on this list, you should be just fine!
- Do no put drugs in women’s drinks.
- When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
- If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
- If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, do not rape her.
- When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to NOT rape her.
- Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
- Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
- Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
- Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
- Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
I hope with these few points, we have been able to help you to remember the right thing to do whenever you feel a little rapey. You’re welcome.
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