How does this even happen?! X-Factor judge Cheryl Fernandez-Versini’s marriage hits bump due to language barrier

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Cheryl Cole Party - London
ALTERNATIVE CROP. Cheryl Cole arrives with her husband Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini at a party at The Library in London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday July 21, 2014. Photo credit should read: Ian West/PA Wire

There’s a saying that goes: a bird and a fish might fall in love, but wherever would they live?

This is a similar case as it has been revealed that Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and her husband, Jean-Bernard, are struggling to communicate due to Cheryl’s trouble with French and Jean-Bernard’s trouble with English, a cousin of hers has reportedly told The Sun Newspaper.

X Factor judge Cheryl has been plagued by rumours her marriage is in trouble and now her cousin Tony Tweedy has told how the family are concerned there is a language barrier between the pair. I’ve listened to the young lady on X-Factor sometimes and I have to say…he’s not the only one struggling with English, aye pet?

cheryl Fernandez-Versini and husband Jean-Bernard

My pressing questions are two-fold. The first is: how has it taken this long?? How do you not know that you cannot understand a word each other is saying? Have you picked a ‘life’ partner based on an unsuccessful game of charades? Was he perhaps bending down to tie his shoelaces and you mistook the action for a proposal? Did he just decide to go along with the whole production to save face? Does he, in fact, stick to velcro shoes now as a result of being in a marriage he didn’t want in the first place?

This new revelation might also account for her new gaunt look – how exactly does one say “Alarm don nearly wound me for here!” in French?

I have heard of couples having problems in marriage; issues such as traditional roles, money matters, or how many kids to have; and when you ask them how come they didn’t resolve this during the dating stage, they respond with “It just never came up in discussion” or “I just always thought we were on the same page on this issue.”

This state of affairs is baffling enough, but when you can NOT discuss anything of importance with your partner because they do not understand you, this isn’t a “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” type sturves, this is just an ill-informed decision that just makes a mockery of marriage, I feel.

How did the couple get to know each other??Let’s have a look at typical dating things, shall we:

  • Chat over a romantic meal – They can’t chat and Cheryl doesn’t eat. Clearly.
  • Cinemas? They can’t understand the same films.
  • Maybe a pizza takeaway with a DVD with subtitles? Again with the eating thing on account of Cheryl’s “I’m trying to disappear completely” diet plan.
  • Go for romantic walks? That’s just trekking if you have to do it in silence.
  • Meet the family? They can’t understand each other. How could this possibly help?

Even cruising on a yacht or whatever else high-powered people do must require some communication, so I can only surmise that the only thing they might have had in common might have been sex, wealth and power – all powerful in their own right, but not enough to sustain a marriage, I gather. Should have just kept shagging him and leave the ring part out of it, I reckon…

Oh yeah….my second question: who the hell is the aproko cousin?? How much did they pay you to be reporting upandan like wireless radio, Tony?? With your big head.

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