Guaranteed Trust Bank knew they wouldn’t be getting gifts from Santa this year, so they kuku just helped themselves to an early Christmas present – their customer’s money.
In the same week when the naira hit almost 270 to the dollar and the abokis require your mother’s hymen in order to give you pounds sterling; in the same week when the CBN announces the ban on the use of ATM cards on foreign currency, here comes GTB on their Anini steez.
They woke up today and debited every single customer N100 for a new service called the ATM card maintenance fee. If we look at a conservative customer base of 2 million GTB customers, this means with the push of one button, GTB earned themselves N2,000,000,000 in 5 minutes. Welcome to retail banking, Naija style.
Quite apart from the ridiculous figures involved, what exactly IS ATM card maintenance?? How do you maintain the card that is in my pocket or wallet? Do you come by my house everyday and make sure that I do not crease it in the back pocket of my jeans? Does one of your staff members lovingly iron it out straight every night after a long day of NOT being able to spend MY money because YOU won’t let me? Because your shagging machines aren’t working yet again or I can’t remember my BVN or because…oh, I dunno, it’s Tuesday and you’re not in the mood?!!
The bank charges you in order to give you the card in the first place, they charge you every single time you carry out a transaction, they charge you to use a non-domiciled ATM machine, and they charge you a replacement fee should you need to replace a lost or stolen card. Like as if you are not traumatised enough by having your card lost or stolen by yahoo boys.
The most painful part of the entire ordeal was the nerve the dirty, thieving, brass-balled bank had to start putting up cryptic little messages on Twitter. This is one of their gems:
Can you see the animal boldness? I guess they tried something new and one of their hidden talents is BROAD DAYLIGHT ROBBERY, apparently! Chei, how much Anini tiff before we kill am? E no tiff reach these monkeys in suits o!
Here’s another one of their ‘encouragement’ tweets:
First rate thieves. First rate robbers. First rate good-for-nothing banking celebrities with woeful customer service and increasing displeasure amongst their customers.
I beseech the other banks of our great country: step up your game. Get your sales boys and girls in their most dapper little outfits and pound. Those. Streets. Do not stop till every single GTBank customer has switched over. It is easy to convince them right now; simply repeat after me “We will not make up fancy words to enrich ourselves to the tune of 2 billion naira of your money.” Wallahi, people will sign.
GTBank, you’re on notice. The second I step foot in Nigeria, I’m switching to a bank that does not just help itself to my money. Gerrarahia, thieving scum.
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