Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.
Resentment burns off unless it is constantly fed anger. After a while, one sees that resenting someone for an uncomfortable situation is way less helpful than actual analysis of how the situation came to be in the first place.
But not everyone is patient. Not everyone is calm enough to forsee how their actions caused by anger can have a deterrent effect on them and the people reactions towards them.
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.
Emotions are very powerful, but anger is more powerful and can control you if you let it.
When it comes to the most destructive emotion, anger is at the top of the list. It can make us say things we will regret, cause separation, and even make us violent.
But as with every other emotion, anger has a root cause. If we can recognize its root cause, we can better control it and let it go when we come across such troublesome scenarios.
1. Let go of the expectations you have in life, they lead to anger!
We expect to party every Friday evening, to still be employed the next day we go to work, and we expect to get our package delivered on time. We become angry and frustrated when those expectations don’t go quite as planned.
The first thing you must do is learn to recognize the expectation. Since you are the one who made up this expectation mentally, you are only angry because you disappointed yourself. When you notice this one thing, your perspective will change for the better.
2. Create a new dialog for your expectations to consciously let go of them and let the universe do its thing.
When you run into traffic when coming back from work, tell yourself that “I will be home late” instead of your old expectation that usually ends up making you mad. You will see your scenario change in a dynamic way when you just go with the flow rather than resist it.
3. Noticing the effect anger has on your body can allow you to calm it and take control of it.
We exhibit physical signs when we get angry often. We can become restless, our head can hurt or our heart rate can increase. You should do the opposite after noticing these signs that you are getting angry. That way, the anger can be calmed and then controlled.
4. When arguing with someone, take a break to avoid feeling that uncontrollable anger.
Take a minute and recognize the effect the anger is holding or held over you the next time you are quarreling with someone, whether you notice it at the moment or before the argument. Recognize how your behavior has been altered and the feelings that are going through your body.
That way, when you recognize the anger in future, you will act more consciously and make better decisions when you do get angry. You can break that pattern of anger, for example, by throwing your hands up, and singing a favorite song of yours.
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