Let’s talk about entitlement


I’m walking on the road on Sunday and I hear one guy feeling holy in a Cele gown out call out , “Hello why didn’t you go to church?”

I keep walking.

“Come I’m talking to you”

I shake my head and keep walking.

There’s an absolute problem with the average Nigerian mind, I kid you not.

People who last saw me five years ago while I was still in school, people I can’t even remember their names, stop me and the ask why I added weight and the most preposterous part is, they wait for an answer!

You see I don’t get our sense of entitlement in this Country, may it not be the death of us. It’s like a bewitchment of some sorts.

They get mad you don’t pick their calls, and they get madder that you do not give them an explanation for missing their calls.

Someone help me please

They feel the right to give you advice and then start with “Make sure…” or “You had better…”. A total stranger, even a cab guy feels the need to tell you how to talk, dress or live!

An Aunt whose name you can’t remember wants to know why you haven’t had kids. They want to give you marital advice. And you listen because she’s elderly and because you owe her? Before you know you’re living the life of five different people who are as miserable as a sore wound.

If the entitlement stops here, I would have said okay we would change but you see, it’s deep rooted, deeply entrenched in our subconscious like breathing.

Relatives feel they have a right to your money especially if you’re in diaspora. They don’t care what you do or how you live. Hey, they don’t even care how you’re managing yourself. All that should concern you is their bills, family and personal issues.

They get angry when you tell them not to visit. A man who likes you feels the right to have you and a young lady feels the right to your money once you say “hi”.

We ask questions about other people and vilify them when they don’t conform to our skewed standards. A sibling feels entitled to all there is from birth because of the firstborn position. A girl feels entitled to marry before her sister because she’s older.

entitlement-2 (Let's talk about entitlement)

An older person who you may not know from Adam feels entitled to a greeting and can insult you for not getting one. I went to make a call once some years back and a man who was there drew my mouth because I didn’t greet him. He thought I would probably cower and apologise like the good African woman should, I warned him and asked if I was his daughter. He threaten to beat me sef. I used to greet my caretaker and wife but after it looked like it was part of my rent, I stopped. Come and beat me. The woman will insult me sometimes when I greet her probably because I didn’t yesterday. Sigh

When they work for you, they feel entitled to money even if they sleep all day.

A graduate feels entitled to his Uncle’s help of getting a job or getting money regardless of that man’s personal responsibilities. They get mad their Father didn’t send them abroad for Masters and act deprived and ostracised.

Someone they know wins elections, they feel entitled to their share of the potential loot whether or not they were even supportive of your ambition.

As relatives they feel entitled to run your home. Only smart men know how to draw the line, regardless of who it is. Unfortunately, the list is endless. Hell, in Port Harcourt even the biggest riff-raff feels entitled to oil money and you will hear them in school walk out of the exam hall because “they get oil for their village”.

It is crazy, annoying and painful to see the way Nigerians feel entitled about other people’s lives yet have absolutely no responsibility in theirs.

We need to learn the art of “minding our business” and “not giving a rats ass” because your see, it is for this reason many of us are living fake lives: subduing our true self and living in misery.

So what if I don’t wanna go to Church? Funny enough I forgot a gift at home so I went back for it but then, what right do you have to ask questions and then start to demand answers? What right have you to an explanation?

A Facebook friend I met somewhere said he hoped I wasn’t going to sleep with my boyfriend when I travel to see him because of my sprained leg and advised me not to. I was too shocked for a reaction.

Darn! We need a reorientation pretty bad.

Enjoy your day.

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