Matters of the heart (Part II)

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School is back in session, ladies and gentlemen, and today’s lesson is on matters of the heart and successful relationships, so gather round!

Let’s start by correcting this error so we can have successful relationships. There’s this saying we erroneously apply in our relationships: My Happiness Comes First!

You say it, right? I do too, and I discovered some of my past relationship issues stemmed from it.

Do you know that as innocent as that statement is, it lends itself to self-centred behaviour?

While talking with my sister two nights ago about the issues she’s having in her relationship,  she blurted out: “Babe, see…my happiness comes first.  I can’t just trade it for this guy.” I almost chocked in the guilt of my past mistakes hearing her say those words.

Let’s bring this home: if your happiness comes first, and my happiness comes first, tell me, who then comes second? Where’s the love? Where’s the balance? Who’s shifting ground?

When you’re in a relationship, you’re expected to bring your happiness and merge it to your partner’s happiness for a mutual purpose: Love.
Love is a verb! It’s a doing not a saying.  Tell me you love me from now till then and you’re not doing it or living it, it’s not there.

Your happiness and your partner’s happiness should go hand-in-hand,  side-by-side.  It’s a 100% affair.

Relationship is for already complete people coming together to compliment each other.  You can’t hold onto your happiness expecting another to release theirs to you, it will never work! If you see any arrangement like that, it’s not relationship but slavery.  One person is the oppressed and the other is the oppressor.

Some people are so selfish that they can’t make room for others in their lives. I used to be like that. When in a relationship, the term you must use is: Our Happiness Comes First!

We have gone on too long with this mindset that keeps robbing us of the bliss we ought to enjoy in out relationships. We allow certain concepts to limit us,  cage us and stiffen us.

Tell you what: you can’t be happy in a relationship if you’re not happy when you’re single.  You must go into a relationship with your own happiness,  be you a He or She. And when you get into that relationship,  you’re expected to merge that happiness with your partner’s. His/Hers comes first now,  that’s where the sacrifice lies. You see yourself in them.

You treat them as you want them to treat you, without losing yourself by the way. That means whatever you do should flow natural not out of compulsion or in a bid to impress.

Remember: Relationship calls for sacrifice! Your happiness is as important as your partner’s happiness. As you go into a relationship,  you go with your happiness,  merge it with theirs and you create a world of bliss.

Thanks for reading.  Share your thoughts,  comments and suggestions.

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