(G.O on the phone)
G.O: E pele madam. Bawo de ni gbogbo Canada? Hope you have settled down well?
Woman: Canada wa sir. There’s no problem at all sir, except for the cold but I’m coping well.
G.O: Oluwaseun. E sese ma mo wipe e ri ile aye wa ni with the quality of living over there. Verily, it is now you will know that you are in the land of the living!
Woman: But Daddy, I think my spiritual life is under attack sir.
G.O: Ha ha kilode?! No church over there?
Woman: There’s church sir. In fact, I attend regularly.
G.O: So watapun?
Woman: Daddy, I can’t pray very well again. I struggle now for prayer points.
Woman: Daddy, e n r’erin ni? I’m serious sir. In fact sir, I want you to be sending me prayer points sir. I want to be on faya 🔥🔥🔥 like before.
G.O: Madam, your spiritual life is not under attack. Nothing is wrong with you.
Woman: Ha Daddy, plenty is wrong with my spiritual life o! Especially the prayer aspect!
G.O: E f’ara bale madam. Please calm down. Let me explain what your issue is. Madam, plenty was wrong with you before but now, nothing is wrong with you.
Woman: Ko ye mi sir.
G.O: Madam, the environment you are now is the one straightening you up. You are finding it hard to pray now because you moved into an environment where things work. So naturally, it took away ninety per cent of your prayer points.
All those prayers you were praying before that made you think you had a strong prayer or spiritual life are not true christian prayers. Abijalistic prayers ni won, and the environment had a lot to do with it.
This new environment has just exposed you. Eyin nikan ko. It has happened to a lot of other people who relocated just like you too.
Awon naa ro wipe nkan se awon ni. Nothing is wrong with you madam.
You were only a prayer hooligan all along. Madam, I’m sure the church you attend is not tiwantiwa?
Woman: No, sir. In fact, I’ve been seriously looking for tiwantiwa church but the closest to me is too far. No Naija church near here o; the type that shakes the devil, Daddy G.O.
G.O: Madam, don’t bother yourself. Since the environment has helped you to do the hardest part of the job by ‘naturally’ taking those ’empty’ prayer points from you, the rest is easy. All you need now is to re-learn how to pray.
Madam: Okay, sir. Se e ma ko awon new prayer points yen fun mi sir? I have my pen and paper here.
G.O: Watistrongwitew! Se won fi prayer points se yin ni?! I don’t need to write prayer points for you.
You have your bible! Jesus Kristi ti set example fun wa how to pray in the Lord’s prayers.
Madam, ogun nikan ko la wa ja laye yi. To ba de je ogun ni, as a believer, we already have the victory through Christ Jesus!
True Christian prayers are centred on the word of God.
True Christian prayers are focused on establishing the will of God on earth, and how you can be a part of establishing that will.
Listen! True christian prayer is about interceding for others. Madam, igbagbo o le to bi e se mu yi o. It’s about time you let go of paganism you call Christianity and embrace the truth.
Woman: Okay, sir.
G.O: Madam, start praying like Bill Gates.
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