To prenup or not to prenup? That is the question

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©Huffington Post|PRENUP

So I heard a couple of friends discussing the new trend in marriages – signing a prenup before getting married. When the concept was first introduced, it was almost exclusively the preserve of rich men requiring money-grabbing women to sign them as a means of protecting any assets they had prior to the marriage. Over time, however, there we now have women also requiring that men of less financial standing sign on the dotted line to avoid being ripped off. This new development seems to have set the cat amongst the pigeons! What?? Women protecting themselves from men? Whoever heard of such a thing?! We must discuss this AT ONCE!  😆

There are different schools of thought regarding the prenup: some are for it, others not. And actually, both sides have valid points.

AGAINST THE PRENUP:

  1. Signing a prenup is as though you are expecting the union to fail.
  2. If a union is meant to be about love, putting a price on it seems counter-productive.
  3. It smacks of selfishness from the asker – only interested in securing their assets.

 

FOR THE PRENUP:

  1. See it as insurance, hopefully you shouldn’t need it, but if you do, then everyone should stand by what they signed.
  2. If you have no intention to appropriate someone’s assets after marriage, why do you care?
  3. Most prenups get passed back and forth till both parties are happy. There is no bullying or shortchanging here.
  4. Making mutually-beneficial decisions based on finance is part of being a couple. The prenup is no different.

I know you didn’t ask for my opinion, but I will give it anyway. If you have substantive assets and you are marrying someone with considerably less, should you have a moving in your spirit to include a prenup, please do so.

It is not suggesting that you do not trust or love your partner, nor does it suggest that you do not believe in the longevity of your proposed union. But in this day and age where divorce gets more commonplace, anything else might be taking a risk.

I have seen people take partners who they once loved to court over a CD collection. Not out of need for the collection, but out of spite. Divorce turns us into uglier versions of ourselves. When the love boils over, we bend over backwards to accommodate each other. When the love goes, or turns into something else, we cannot hurt each other enough.

If the marriage does not work, should there be the added pain of the loss of everything you have worked hard for?

I view the prenup situation like an umbrella. Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. Men and women need to start learning to protect themselves.

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