That’s how Azealia Banks did until smallie Skai Jackson dragged her to hell and back!


Azealia. Azeezatu Olaiya. Azealia! How many times did I call your name?

You may not know me, but I come to you woman to woman. My name is Moji Akinde, and in the country Nigeria I’m coming from, we call people’s names 3 times before telling them about themselves so they know they’re paying attention they know it’s real.

I was taking a short-lived break from gossip because I want to do right by Krishna, Buddha, Jesus and co. so I can maybe get on the guest list to enter the Pearly Gates some day. So when I heard everyone saying all these things about you, I felt bad, as I’m sure you were merely misunderstood and probably just ran out of Edges Re-Grow or something. We’re not stupid, we know what those centre parting lace fronts you rock mean, girl. We would be perpetually bitter too if we ran out of side-hair follicles like you.

You’ve been pressing computer on Twitter like a broken typewriter since, talking nonsense about people you should be calling “Uncle” & “Aunty”, and now you’ve come again.

First it was Wale you insulted in April saying he doesn’t love black women. You accused him of selling “you” to slavery to the white man when you are yet to escape the enslavement of your own stupendous idiocity (<- I made it up and it sounds better).

Sister, do you not know that you should steer clear of anybody named “Wale”? The name alone indicates that he’s Nigerian. And he’s Yoruba. And his name is WALE! Have you not learned anything from the world around you?! Never mind, don’t answer that.

Next I heard that on Tuesday you were talking about one Zayn Malik boy from that band that reminds me of my Backstreet Boys days. You said he copied your style or something like that, but I don’t understand since the only style you have is to be the girl no one asked to play Ten-Ten, sitting under a tree pretending not to cry, waiting for the driver who doesn’t even like her or her father to come and pick her up.

Babes, you called this beautiful man-boy a homophobic slur amongst other things I cannot mention without having to wash my mouth with Omo detergent. You displayed your lack of home training by calling his mother a “. . . refugee who won’t be granted asylum”. I have one small question to “axe” you; “HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS BIGOTED DO YOU NOT SEE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS AN ASYLUM?!”

Last, last, you now disgraced yourself finish by fighting Skai Jackson, a Disney Channel actress who I’m sure was just in JSS1 when you started UniLag. This is assuming you went to school. All this girl did was try to save you from your own immolation by telling you to calm down small. So you replied “and you need to grow some hips and start ur menses. stay in a child’s place.”

As a lepa late bloomer who didn’t finally get her hips and other body parts until last year, I resent this insult. Also, how dare you attempt to body shame a teenager with the obvious fact that a 14-year-old has no hips?! Upon your own age and money to buy body, you sef have nothing to show so what are you saying? The one that pained me is you tried to reduce Skai to an Instagram celebrity and she fired back the lethal weapon: “. . . with 2.3 million Instagram followers. My memes are more relevant than you”

Here lies the body of Azealia Banks whose entire being Skai Jackson broke without a gun to her head.

See how they’ve useless you in the market now, Azealia. Your life has finished like 6 wraps of semovita washed down with Orijin only there’s nothing fulfilling about you. Now the people of London’s Born & Bred Festival said dem no dey do again and don’t want you as headlining performer any more. They have packed your load inside gutter like a new Naija wife who cooked Ghana Jollof Rice for her husband and no one will come near her. Where will you go now, Aziza Olaiya? Ehn?

Because no amount of soap and roll-on will wash or cover the global body odour you have brought upon yourself. I would say try Nigeria but I like my people too much to punish them like that. In case they allow you enter sha, maybe you can be Tiwa Savage’s personal assistant. We all know she has money and will probably keep your secrets. But then again, you’re the type who can wake up one ungodly morning to say Teebillz is a real man who needs love too so that might not last.

Azealia, woman to woman, you need to stop this nonsense! Seriously, the things people are saying are not nice and I don’t blame them because you’re an attention seeking hateful troll. You need to fix your life. And your edges. In no particular order.

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  • Azaelia Banks is a nuisance. Im so glad they have suspended her twitter account. She has mouth to call Lady Gaga’s career over when she hasnt even released a debut album (she never even go paper) and then she starts trolling a 14 year old. A 14 year old that took her to the cleaners. Mstchewww

  • I’ve never liked her. Seems my perception game is strong. My dislike for her intensified after she called a Black girl, “tar baby”. As if she isn’t of darker complexion. She’s either mentally ill or has mindless enablers.

    • i say mentally ill… as in this woman opens her mouth and calls Lady gaga “over” (she doesnt even have a debut album and hasnt even gone paper yet). There is something very wrong with her and from the looks of things her music career is dead before take off

  • Rachel Adepeju Onamusi and Moji Akinde……. if only she could take advice and “ronu jinle” bhet that suggestion of come and come be Tiwa’s PA yen ko le werk. ….it’s only for men Yoruba gehs can mumu for. As for the edges, I’m selling ORI straight from Ilorin…

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