Azealia. Azeezatu Olaiya. Azealia! How many times did I call your name?
You may not know me, but I come to you woman to woman. My name is Moji Akinde, and in the country Nigeria I’m coming from, we call people’s names 3 times before telling them about themselves so they know they’re paying attention they know it’s real.
You’ve been pressing computer on Twitter like a broken typewriter since, talking nonsense about people you should be calling “Uncle” & “Aunty”, and now you’ve come again.
Sister, do you not know that you should steer clear of anybody named “Wale”? The name alone indicates that he’s Nigerian. And he’s Yoruba. And his name is WALE! Have you not learned anything from the world around you?! Never mind, don’t answer that.
Next I heard that on Tuesday you were talking about one Zayn Malik boy from that band that reminds me of my Backstreet Boys days. You said he copied your style or something like that, but I don’t understand since the only style you have is to be the girl no one asked to play Ten-Ten, sitting under a tree pretending not to cry, waiting for the driver who doesn’t even like her or her father to come and pick her up.
Babes, you called this beautiful man-boy a homophobic slur amongst other things I cannot mention without having to wash my mouth with Omo detergent. You displayed your lack of home training by calling his mother a “. . . refugee who won’t be granted asylum”. I have one small question to “axe” you; “HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS BIGOTED DO YOU NOT SEE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS AN ASYLUM?!”
Last, last, you now disgraced yourself finish by fighting Skai Jackson, a Disney Channel actress who I’m sure was just in JSS1 when you started UniLag. This is assuming you went to school. All this girl did was try to save you from your own immolation by telling you to calm down small. So you replied “and you need to grow some hips and start ur menses. stay in a child’s place.”
Here lies the body of Azealia Banks whose entire being Skai Jackson broke without a gun to her head.
See how they’ve useless you in the market now, Azealia. Your life has finished like 6 wraps of semovita washed down with Orijin only there’s nothing fulfilling about you. Now the people of London’s Born & Bred Festival said dem no dey do again and don’t want you as headlining performer any more. They have packed your load inside gutter like a new Naija wife who cooked Ghana Jollof Rice for her husband and no one will come near her. Where will you go now, Aziza Olaiya? Ehn?
Because no amount of soap and roll-on will wash or cover the global body odour you have brought upon yourself. I would say try Nigeria but I like my people too much to punish them like that. In case they allow you enter sha, maybe you can be Tiwa Savage’s personal assistant. We all know she has money and will probably keep your secrets. But then again, you’re the type who can wake up one ungodly morning to say Teebillz is a real man who needs love too so that might not last.
Azealia, woman to woman, you need to stop this nonsense! Seriously, the things people are saying are not nice and I don’t blame them because you’re an attention seeking hateful troll. You need to fix your life. And your edges. In no particular order.
Get more stuff like this
in your inbox
Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.
Thank you for subscribing.
Something went wrong.