The Chemistry of Love Itself (I)


Love is as close as human beings can come to being selfless. We would choose to make sacrifices in acts of love. We would commit solely and ultimately to the ‘other half’ for the sake of the all-consuming love we feel.

Some believe that love is a tangible, immaterial substance that links one person to another, which makes loving a person possible, that no matter how much some have been hurt by relationships, they still fall over and over again in several others.

I believe falling in love simply, is exciting. It’s a time when a confusing blend of giddiness, anxiety, and hope, all stir together in an often breathless, embarrassing, and exhilarating whirl. It’s too much of a feeling that I simply can’t give up on.

Our brains are wired to find love, to connect, to fall, to commit, and to keep love alive, but what makes you fall in love? What makes you feel so deeply for someone that you may choose to protect that one, even with your life?

Have you ever wondered how an outside force can have such huge effect on you?

I’ve found that there are many factors that go into the chemistry behind attraction and romantic love. A person’s physical appearance is certainly one, and social status is most certainly another.

A person’s background, the way he or she was raised, and his or her level of intellect also all play key roles in deciding whom you could possibly fall in love with, but Chemistry itself — literally chemistry — plays a gigantic role in deciding which person you could or could not fall in love with.

The human brain supports falling in love, which is why we have such a strong physiological response when we are attracted to another.

There are four chemicals in our brain that play the largest roles in deciding compatibility.

Dopamine is one. It is what makes reward-based behavior feel so rewarding. Our brain is built in such a way as to reward us for behaviors that are good for us, or that have been good to us. These behaviors release a neurotransmitter called dopamine, affectionately known as “the feel good” neurotransmitter. Because, well, it makes us feel good! When we are attracted to someone, being with them, or even thinking about them, dopamine is released in our brain. In other words, our brain is rewarding us for having a crush.

There’s the Estrogen and Testosterone, which gives us (men &women) that sexual appetite.

And there’s the Serotonin, which helps regulate our moods, as well as being the neurotransmitter that allows for obsessive thinking and behavior.

There are several other chemicals in the body that would be in overdrive when we find ourselves in love of course, but I’ve found that these 4 seem to play the largest roles.

The question now is: Do these chemicals have an effect on the type of person you can fall in love with, and if so, how?

Understanding why you feel the way you do, and why you choose the lovers you do, can not only help you understand yourself, but also help you understand the person you are looking for.

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