To my Naija sisters up in arms : What Feminism is NOT (Part I/II)

Angry black woman hitting a man

Last month a lady stabbed her husband to death in Ibadan, Nigeria. Ghastly as it was, what was even more ghastly were the reactions it generated from certain quarters. From cheers “YES! Now we will see how the men like what they have been dishing out for ages!” to excuses “The man probably did something to deserve this.” What bothered me the most was that a number of those who made these comments considered themselves “feminists”

Now dear reader I do not consider myself an expert on the topic but I believe that Feminism is all about equal rights and treatment between both sexes and is NOT a battle for supremacy. As a result, I decided to write a little something on it.

What Feminism is NOT

1) Feminism is NOT blindness to the failings of your own sex while painting every act of the other sex in black: I have observed that some people think that being a feminist means tearing down the male gender. From declaring all men as “dogs”, “unfaithful”, “dumb” and “led by their penises” there appears to be a belief that in order for the female to be lifted, the man must be torn down. I do not see this as feminism at all. If Feminism is about equal treatment being given to both sexes then to resort to tearing one sex down in order to lift another up is to be no better than the oppressive patriarchy that our sisters have had to live in (or is it “under”) for so long. People do nasty and unspeakable things both male and female. So painting every man with “evil and guilty” brush while giving the women who do terrible things a pass is to eschew progress and make a mockery of feminism.

What Feminism is not -1

2.) Feminism is NOT excusing physical, emotional or verbal abuse from females. From insults, to grabbing a man’s shirt or collar roughly, to destruction of property, these acts have largely been placed under the tag “That is how women are” and men are “encouraged” to be “real men” and “handle it”. This is self sabotage because if Feminism is about equal rights between the sexes then abuse (of any form) cannot be labelled a “natural” thing for one sex. You my sister have a right to not suffer any kind of abuse in your life and your brother has the same right. Abuse is not a joke. No matter who is doing it

What Feminism is not -2
Oh look at his face! it’s sooo funny! hehehehe…NO!!!!!

3) Feminism is NOT being a financial liability: Strong words, but consider how on one hand some women campaign (and rightfully so) for equal opportunities in education and work and then turn around to declare that the man is solely responsible for providing and will not lift a finger to help with the finances at home. On a lighter note, valentine’s day is all about the man breaking bank (and back) to spend away on the lady. If he is very lucky he might get a boxer or two.

What Feminism is not -3
Happy Valentine’s day love! Now where’s my Lamborghini?!

Look sister, embracing feminism at it’s fullest involves letting go of certain patriarchal paradigms (no matter how “beneficial” they are to you). If your life is to be about being treated equally then be certain to show it. The age-old “He is the man, he is the sole provider!” will no longer apply.

Woman you are inferior to no man and no man is inferior to you. I stand with you in your right to equal treatment and I ask that you extend the same to me. We are not the enemy and neither are you.

So those are my thoughts on this topic. What do YOU think? Kindly comment below and let us know. As always, thank you for reading and God bless you.

I shut up now.

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