I want to have daughters- biological and adopted. I want to watch them grow and instruct them myself.
I want to tell them the truth. The basic truth that we have refused to tell women. I want daughters that will not pander to female-unfriendly doctrines of a myopic society. Daughters who are going to be the best of their kind.
I know the damaging effects of telling a woman that she is incomplete without a man. Telling her that whatever achievements she records without a wedding ring is null. So we have women, who do all sorts to make a name for themselves, but eventually slip into depression for their inability to have or keep a man.
Women who have killed lions but are afraid of ordinary mice. After all their struggles to be relevant, you see them carrying on in life with a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. We have told them that the crown of a woman is her husband. Irrespective of the kind of husband. The failure of such women to get and keep the man that “completes” them makes them feel worthless. Society, not being fair to them, rubs it on their face that keeping a man is a lofty task that proves a woman’s worth. The ones who fail in this task are suddenly tagged failures. They become the society’s example of failed women. It is all in the mind. Something like a psychological abuse. It makes a woman who has done every other meaningful thing but marriage, to feel useless and ostracised from the society she belongs to.
This I can’t deal anymore.
I won’t have daughters that will be victims of this paralysing lies. Lies that rob women of the will to be more than just the Nigerian archetypal woman. Lies that keep them perpetually in bondage.
Lies that tell them that they can only walk, when in reality they have the ability to fly. Lies that undermine their efforts. Lies that drain them of happiness.
These lies are not for my daughters.
A woman is complete in herself as long as she has a mind. The only incomplete woman is the mindless woman. The one important thing anybody needs in life is a mind. With a mind nothing shall be impossible. I want women who would conquer the world without doubting their self-worth. To have or not to have a man should be her own decision to make.
We can’t always dictate to people how to live their own lives. We can’t always create standards based on our own shortsightedness and prejudice and compel people especially women, to kowtow to them.
Many a woman, will do much more with her life if there is no consistent whisper of you-need-a-man from family and society. When you hear such, you might be forced to think that a man’s genitalia is the key to all mind-boggling success in life.
A man is a plus not the basis.
A woman should live for herself not for a man.
A woman has a life that does not bear ‘man’ as a name.
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