What is on Fay’s mind? I’ll tell you. So, we saw a lot of back stabbings, betrayals and backbiting some days ago on Facebook, when two longstanding friends had a fall out. A very controversial ‘Facebook celebrity’ dragged her best friend of not less than two years, and man, was it dirty! I don’t want to go into details, but the lowness that went down on that post will make anyone wonder the price and value we attach to friendships these days.
Now, you’ll ask if it’s worth talking about; perhaps because it has become a norm that people who were really close will decide to go their separate ways and have nothing to do with each other anymore. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with two friends wanting to go back to being strangers to each other (especially if the rift between them can’t be mended). Far from it.
I’m of the opinion that the decision of ex-friends to become strangers should be free from a lot of drama (to an extent), and shouldn’t entail involving the general public. Come on, that’s so uncalled for! What? Some people wash a lot of their dirty linens in public to show they’re the better person. They may even go to the extent of posting proof of superiority and tagging their loyal dogs to the drag posts to come confirm all they say. Things dey happen for this social media sha!
Is friendship really still what we grew up to meet our older ones define?
Is there a new meaning or is there a new face to the word ‘friendship’?
Is your ‘friend’ truly your friend?
Are the secrets you share with your ‘friend’ safe with them?
I’m of the opinion that no matter how bad things get between friends, secrets should remain what they are. Secrets. If you look at it from the side of the friend who was entrusted with the secret, you’re doing yourself a great deal of good by not spilling people’s secrets whenever you have a fallout with them. Not only does it earn you respect and the trustworthy badge, you’ll gain absolutely nothing from spilling the beans. And remember, once the words are out, you can’t take them back again. Horrifying, right?
We can never have it all. True.
We need people to survive. True.
But, choose your battles wisely. Choose who you call your friend with utmost care. You wouldn’t want unnecessary drama and someone carrying your name about at any slightest provocation. In the journey of friendship, make sure that you’re not always the one receiving favors. Be a giver of favors too. It takes two to tango. Even if you’re not up to the capacity of the other person, it is fair enough to do your lot whenever you can. Be supportive.
It is imperative to exude the same amount of energy you want to get back. In friendships, whatever you get is a mirror of what you give.
You want to be loved and cared for? Give love and care.
You want to be taken seriously? Take them seriously.
You want to be looked out for? Look out for them and have their backs. What you give is what you get.
Another important aspect of friendship is communication. Learn the art of effective communication. It helps resolve conflicts and calms bad blood as quickly as possible. It also helps both parties learn better ways to act and react to the little things that matter. A lot of brawls that escalate into big and dirty fights can be avoided if the communication lines were effective.
Have you ever been betrayed by your friend? Would you like to share your experience? I’d like to know.
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