Lose that weight!
A man was particularly fond of getting between the thighs of women, and wouldn’t bother hiding his transgressions, especially from his wife. But he had a good reason for his treacherous ways.
She was overweight.
Before, when they got married, he recalled, she was svelte and graceful like a ballet dancer at her prime. She would dress like a fashion icon, her hair was always beautifully made, and she would serve him a buffet between the sheets. Now, after several years together and some children, she had ignored all the things that made him tick, and had let herself go. Now, he couldn’t see her collar bones anymore, and the jiggling folds of fat around her waist made her look like the Michelin Tyre Man’s clone. Unlike before, she no longer went to bed naked, or in a sexy lingerie, and now only wore an ugly, Omo t-shirt or the most hideous nightdress she could find, and would sleep almost immediately, occupying most of the bed with her increasing size. Now, she had become lazy with her looks and would go for days without as little as a touch of lipstick to give her face some colour and life, and wouldn’t put much effort in her dressing. What happened to the woman he fell in love with? He wondered, pained. She now looked like his elder sister, and not his wife. Before lamenting about him depositing his semen inside every willing vagina, he went on, she was to, first of all, think about how she had pushed him into it.
She pondered. He made complete sense. He had brought forth a valid point. Indeed, she had to lose weight, if only to reclaim her glory, her dignity, her worth.
And so she shed about 80kgs the following day.
As she dragged her belongings to a waiting car and bundled up her young children inside, the unwanted 80kgs followed her back and forth, confused and afraid, and tried to grab a packed suitcase from her, asking what the hell she thought she was doing.
“Losing weight,” she said as she drove off.
She later involved a lawyer in her weight loss journey, and, needless to say, the man found her irresistibly attractive after she dropped all that weight – him
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