How to Be Proud of Your Achievements without Losing Your Identity

There is a lady in my music team. She is so confident, that when she first started to make suggestions for us, I felt too intimidated. I also felt she was arrogant, until I asked myself “is she arrogant or does her confidence make you feel intimidated about your lack of confidence?”

I realized then, that I was projecting my lack of confidence on her. I started to discover how talented she was, in a whole new light, and in the process, I built my own confidence.

‘I do not admire humility any longer. I will not be humble.’

I have heard some of my friends say this several times, but now I understand why this statement is important.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a lady friend and she said to me, “Men must be humble.”

I listened to that statement and caught myself hanging onto the anger that anyone feels they can be the measure of humility. Humility is like love, patience and other virtues, they are invisible.

You can’t show them by body postures or your manner of carriage, and it is definitely not something that people can detect by being spectators in other people’s life.

You cannot know who is humble by reading Facebook posts. That is just you trying to be God in other people’s lives.

I make right and wrong opinions all the time, but one thing I will never do is make myself small so that anyone can feel comfortable around me.

This is what we mean when we say women don’t owe anyone good feelings. As a man or woman, you don’t have a duty to make anyone feel good. You are responsible for your feelings and attitude, not mine. I am a man and I will not shrink or undersell myself to make anyone feel comfortable. I will not ask anyone; male or female to act humble so I can be comfortable.

I am a content writer with a huge portfolio of work done, and I am great at my job. I write, I create, I lead and push others to grow. Why do I need to shrink so you can feel good?

Even when the economy said I don’t deserve a job, I created several for myself. I travelled fearlessly and worked tirelessly for 3 years without handouts from government or even family. You may say everyone is also struggling, but well, they have a choice to discredit their struggle. They have a choice to belittle their experiences. I won’t.

I am here, a research student at the University of Pretoria, impressing my colleagues and supervisor, an AFRES scholar, still working hard to pay his bills despite the hostility against foreign workers. I will not be humble.

Now, you have a choice to misunderstand this. I am not boasting but I am proud of who I have become despite my challenges. The humility that people ask for is not the true one that keeps you progressive, it is the one that kills your shine, diminishes your capabilities just so they can be comfortable.

Friends who cannot be happy for your achievements need to go. Friends, who are insecure because you are conscious of your value, cut them out. They want you hiding so that destiny won’t locate you.

You won’t progress by being humble about who you are and what you are able to do. Valuable people are not attracted to self-sabotaging behavior. You cannot pray for opportunities but sell yourself like a piece of rag.

Tell your story like it deserves an Oscar; let it hurt people with insecurities. You do not exist to nanny people’s egos. Walk tall and let anyone that wants to crawl do it on their own.

Crawling is not a service to humanity.